Our Week On Social Media, June 6 2014

Our last 20 posts on Twitter; enjoy.

An all-timer: Diego Maradona scores solo goal against England, 1986, LEGO style: http://rlyv.se/tQN

OpenGraph Image
It’s fair to say Argentina’s Diego Maradona had a decent game against England in the 1986 World Cup. After the notorious ‘hand of God’ incident , he sealed victory over Bobby Robson’s side with a strike that’s gone down as one of the best World Cup goals ever. Watch it here, lovingly recreated brick-by-brick Continue reading…
Jun 6, 2:19 PM

I’m obviously interested: The 6 Craziest Requirements For FIFA World Cup Uniforms http://rlyv.se/tPW

OpenGraph Image
FIFA has some incredibly specific and very odd rules for its uniforms. For example: no number can have a stroke width larger than 5cm or smaller than 3cm. Sweatsuits–which aren’t even worn by players on the field–have rules as well. Same with baseball cap-style hats, which aren’t worn by players. Branding and advertising play a larger role in soccer than in almost any other sport, except maybe NASCAR, and FIFA has rules for that. Even the brand logos on the shoulders have rules: they have to be of a certain size, centered, and symmetrical. Thou shalt not exceed the required stroke width for fonts. To the unfamiliar, World Cup uniforms seem open to styling: different colors and patterns, brand names, and logos splashed in every possible square inch of fabric. But FIFA actually has incredibly strict guidelines for the uniforms, right down to the millimeter. Creative Review published a few excerpts of the 92-page document, and we’ve picked out six of the craziest.
Jun 6, 11:57 AM

It’s a #rattle: The #caxirola is Brazil’s version of the vuvuzela. http://rlyv.se/tPA

OpenGraph Image
The caxirola is Brazil’s version of the vuvuzela . Looks like FIFA World Cup 2014 … Perth Now It kind of sounded like this: Dzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Well, just when you … and more
Jun 6, 10:43 AM

Pique is pretty scary. “World Cup mascots: from Naranjito to Bulldog Bobby in pictures” http://rlyv.se/tO6

OpenGraph Image
With the 2014 World Cup fast approaching, Brazil’s mascot Fuleco will both be entertaining the crowds and be used as a marketing tool, so we thought we would have a look through the archives to check out mascots and merchandise from days gone by Continue reading…
Jun 6, 10:02 AM

Solid: Vintage 2004 Adidas Cal Surf T-shirt Football World Cup Retro Tango http://rlyv.se/tOG

OpenGraph Image
$8.36 (0 Bids) End Date: Sunday Jun-15-2014 11:35:00 PDT Bid now | Add to watch list
Jun 6, 2:22 AM

2014 World Cup noisemaker is a #caxirola? Fifa fans drop vuvuzela for a rattle http://rlyv.se/tOE

OpenGraph Image
Examiner.com 2014 World Cup noisemaker is a caxirola ? Fifa fans drop vuvuzela for a rattle Examiner.com Fans of the 2014 World Cup might be concerned about hearing the vuvuzela on television during the upcoming games, but there is nothing to worry about as the crowds have moved on from the noisemaker. Sounding loud and extraordinarily annoying, the … and more
Jun 6, 1:44 AM

Via @SoccerByIves, USMNT Notes: Jones to decide club future after World Cup, Johannsson talks AZ extension http://rlyv.se/tOC #USMNT

OpenGraph Image
USMNT Notes: Jones to decide club future after World Cup, Johannsson talks AZ extension, and more: #USMNT
Jun 6, 1:02 AM

!!!!!!!!!: The episode “The Cartridge Family” is history’s best soccer satire. http://rlyv.se/tN0

OpenGraph Image
Open Wide for Some Soccer!: The Simpsons Brilliant Parody of the Beautiful Game. The Simpsons does soccer, and it is glorious. Lampooning soccer has long been an American pastime. To its mostly unfunny critics, the sport is boring, unmanly, and foreign. My son is not playing soccer, bloviator Jim Rome once said . I will hand him ice skates and a shimmering sequined blouse before I hand him a soccer ball. There is, however, one inspired piece of U.S.-made satire that manages to mock soccer while also embracing the very thing its laughing at. Whos behind this bit of comedic brilliance? Unsurprisingly, The Simpsons. The Cartridge Family , which aired on Nov. 2, 1997, opens with a five-minute sequence that taps into our nations distrust of soccers seemingly slow pace, overexcited announcers, and exotic teams and players.
Jun 5, 7:27 PM

RT @socceramerica: Bob Bradley: Michael Not Given Arsenal Chance: In an interview with Slate, former U.S. men’s… http://rlyv.se/tNS

OpenGraph Image
Bob Bradley: Michael Not Given Arsenal Chance: In an interview with Slate, former U.S. men’s…
Jun 5, 6:46 PM

P.I.M.P.: Vintage 1980 Adidas Erima Goalkeeper’s Jersey Shirt World Cup 1982, NO RETRO http://rlyv.se/tNI

OpenGraph Image
$8.36 (0 Bids) End Date: Sunday Jun-15-2014 12:25:57 PDT Bid now | Add to watch list
Jun 5, 6:06 PM

BOOOOO! FIFA World Cup Group A: Brazil – The noise of a nation silenced http://rlyv.se/tNq

OpenGraph Image
Financial Express FIFA World Cup Group A: Brazil – The noise of a nation silenced Financial Express Four years on, the sound of the vuvuzela still forces us to shudder at the soundtrack it leant to the event and perhaps even making us bless the souls responsible for making the migraine machines extinct. Only, they aren’t extinct. … Conceptualised purely for the 2014 World Cup by Carlinhos Brown, a leading Brazilian musician with a Oscar nomination to his credit, the caxirola is said to rattle more than hum and the ‘shakestick’ (filled with ball-bearings) was even blessed by Brazil’s president, Dilma Rousseff. and more
Jun 5, 5:26 PM

This is not so good. RT @ESPNFC: Uni Watch has ranked all 32 World Cup kits. http://rlyv.se/tNi,http://rlyv.se/shorten http://rlyv.se/tNi,http://rlyv.se/shorten

OpenGraph Image
Uni Watch has ranked all 32 World Cup kits. The defending champions might not like their spot http://r.rallyverse.com/c/?link=quLmI%2bjYDAwBkGnbju1Hkmz5OcR5DonpWOBUar9sPReQuaC%2briPQVmBvMEXPon27h4qoNz7eKGa2xySATVHzA2z60dgN1mhCqw15nC%2b%2b6WuPLNprxmXVn0tDaskYeIdP9kWS%2fxhh4t4%3d
Jun 5, 4:53 PM

Qatars critics accused of racism, assuming that, you know, disdain for bribery is racist http://rlyv.se/tM0

OpenGraph Image
Sheikh Ahmad Al-Sabah, one of the most powerful figures in the Olympic movement, has waded into the storm over Qatars hosting of the 2022 World Cup finals. Sheikh Ahmad Al-Sabah has accused Qatar’s detractors as racist. Influential player in global sport accuses Qatar’s detractors of racism.
Jun 5, 4:12 PM

Just Pele being Pele: Amazing photographs uncover secret World Cup moments http://rlyv.se/tMW

OpenGraph Image
In pictures: Amazing photographs uncover secret World Cup moments from Pele … Mirror.co.uk Taken from behind the scenes they show a side to most players and managers that you don’t usually see. The collection covers a range of World Cups from 1962 in Chile to Germany 2006. There’s Pele lounging around being Pele in Mexico in 1970 and …
Jun 5, 3:31 PM

We <3 #Eusebio: The untouchables, From Pele to #Eusebio, 10 great World Cup players http://rlyv.se/tMM

OpenGraph Image
Firstpost The untouchables: From Pele to Eusebio , 10 great World Cup players Firstpost Considered by many the greatest player in football history, Pele won three World Cups with Brazil. He was a teenager when he helped the “Selecao” lift the trophy in 1958, then four years later he won again despite playing only one match because of an injury … and more
Jun 5, 2:51 PM

Nodding: Interactive All-Time World Cup XI is guaranteed to waste your morning http://rlyv.se/tMI

OpenGraph Image
The BBC polled experts to come up with just over 100 players from which to cull your All-Time World Cup XI. Does yours look like ours?
Jun 5, 2:11 PM

Oh. Great. “Hackers Target World Cup Sponsors” http://rlyv.se/tMm

OpenGraph Image
The World Cup could be the victim of multiple cyber attacks (Getty Images). (ATR) Hacker group Anonymous said they are planning cyber-attacks on World Cup sponsors. Speaking to Reuters, a hacker with the alias Che Commodore, said: “We have a plan of attack,” regarding targeting the websites of prominent FIFA World Cup partners. Commodore spoke under the guise of anonymity. We have already conducted late-night tests to see which of the sites are more vulnerable,” he said. Anonymous posted 333 pages of documents they hacked from the Brazilian Foreign Ministrys website, the largest data breach for Brazil since the United States NSA allegedly spied on Brazilian president Dilma Rousseffs personal emails. The documents included which sports ministries are planning on going to the World Cup, and a briefing between the Brazilian government and US vice president Joe Biden, who will attend the World Cup. “The problem has been resolved. Nothing important was leaked,” a Brazilian official told the news agency. Preparations for the World Cup have been marred by stadium delays, and a cyber-breach would add to the list of troubles for tournament organisers.
Jun 5, 1:31 PM

So two different members of Rancid have written team songs for MLS teams? http://rlyv.se/tLU

OpenGraph Image
Tattoos, nine-year grown dreadlocks and the ‘sno-fro’ look the US team are going to be eye-catching however they get on Continue reading…
Jun 5, 12:21 PM

“When [M. Bradley] got to Italy he found he was immersed in a culture that thought like him to a certain extent.” http://rlyv.se/tLK

OpenGraph Image
Once thought of as only being in the team because he was the coachs son, the midfield enforcer is the key man in Jrgen Klinsmanns side who face a tough-looking Group G Continue reading…
Jun 5, 11:47 AM

No broken legs though? World Cup tuneup between England and Ecuador turns into unfriendly http://rlyv.se/tLA

OpenGraph Image
After enduring a four-game goal drought, Wayne Rooney finally broke through as England tied Ecuador in a friendly that got rather testy at times.
Jun 5, 11:08 AM

Sneers and Snitches

Church Langley is fizzing, bubbling and veritably popping its corks with excitement as the climax of the 2010 Season approaches.

The Chairman flings open the bedroom window to greet the shot-silk rays of a beautiful morning, and takes the opportunity to give a little tug on the bunting to check that all is nicely secure for the merriment to come.

An owl flies down to the kitchen window and, seeing Janet Roberts, hops inside. David Roberts, gazes out in the peaceful scene and smiles with contentment at a job well done, unaware of the shiny object tumbling through the crisp morning air and heading towards his left ear.

The Chairman is flung to the ground as a Nimbus 5000, screeching like a breaking steam train, plunges through the open pane and crashes into the Ikea book case.

‘Got it!’ Screams John Collins clutching the Predictorship Cup tightly in his fist. ‘It’s coming home, it’s coming home! Football’s coming home!’ Collins scrambles to his feet, his hair erratically woven with several Leylandii twigs from David’s boundary hedging, just as the black form of Steve Dunlop smashes down through the conifers to land precariously on the laminate flooring.

’27 weeks Collins! it’s had my name on it for 27 weeks. Don’t think this is the end of this. it’s definitely not the end of this.’ the Benfica man’s eyes burn with fury and his shocking white hair flaps menacingly in the cool morning breeze as he stands over his rival.

‘No one likes us, no one likes us, no one likes us, we don’t care!’ Collins chants, waving his prize crazily with the expression of a man overwhelmed by his good fortune.

‘I can still disqualify both of you,’ threatens the Chairman, immediately diffusing the volotile situation and stroking his rapidly growing beard. This Cup is about fair play and the reputation of Swinemoles and Church Langley won’t be sullied by your petty squabbling. Go down to the kitchen and wait for me there.

The two players hang their heads as they file out in silence.

‘Hey, how did it go?’ Stevie mood picks up instantly as he spots Rob Dimery who’s slouched in the lounge with his feet up on a crate of Guinness bottles, and strides over towards him. The bottle are curiously opening themselves one by one as the guests arrive.

‘Pretty good Stevie, pretty good,’ sighs Rob contentedly, picking up a cup cake as the icing instantly changes to an attractive red and white Cheltenham town colour, ‘Bobbie D kept himself off the bottom – Lady Luck and a well-timed joker helped me leapfrog over ‘you know who’, which is all that counts, my friend. So, I guess it’s time for another beer!’ and a bottle of Guinness obediently popped it’s top and bounces into his hand.

The lads break off their conversation as the TV suddenly blares out at full volume. Mark Young – (just one point behind Sally Moon in the final table) has switched the set on and Lady Gaga’s latest chart topper ‘Moonerazzi’ blares out. Mark pushes his grubby black hair out of his eyes and hammers his umbrella angrily down on the remote to change channel.

‘Hate that song’ the Baggie sneers, rounding on the sniggering Cup challengers.

‘And it’s time you lot of over-confident chancers learned something worth knowing.’ He pushes the button on the remote and ‘The Great Escape’ begins to play. ‘Look and learn’ Young threatens and slips on a baseball mitt to catch the Guinness bottle flying towards him.

Meanwhile, engrossed in a game of Subuteo in the corner, Ralph Hannah and Rob Molloy are mercilessly launching the small animated figures across the pitch in front of them, each flick elicits a variety of verbal and visual assaults from their tiny victims. Ralph’s ‘amazing’ achievement, according to Statman Matt, was not only to achieve top scorer recognition in the final week with 11 points (and the only player with three correct scores – Bolton, Everton & West Ham) but ends 6 points above arch rival Rob (the first time he’s been ahead of him all season…); Rob is intent on settling the score as another little chap on his team is the unfortunate recipient of his determined finger.

The lights flicker in the house and the air temperature drops suddenly. As the clouds darken outside, the Predictors begin to gather at the patio doors to gaze at the spectacle unfolding in the garden. A wild Moonerazzi and frightened-looking Pete Yoder, his mop of ginger hair lit up like a giant sparkler in the sodium lights, have begun their final dual. The FA Cup battle is underway and orange flashes fly from the Wolves man’s claxon, blasting the Blackburn Rover backwards into the Clematis. The Moonerazzi pounds a large blue and white drum in return and with each beat a bolt of lightning flies at Pete’s head, parting his Highland mop left, then right. The Moonerazzi weakens as the sound waves pin her into the foliage, but as Pete begins to smoulder, there’s no way to separate the two opponents.

Matt White prepares to hurl himself into the fray, just as the cloud split open with an Earth-shattering crack.

The huge green eyes of Normanetta No Mates peer down into the faces of the terror-stuck players.

‘So you think you’ve defeated me do you?’ the icy voice slices through the hearts and aspirations of every quivering spectator.

‘I’ve seen who’s been loyal to me and who’s turned their back.’

John Collins feels an unimaginable pain sear through his head.

‘Next season will be a very different story…’

Janet Roberts walks carefully up to the window and as she slowly looks up, drops the beetroot soup.

Tantrums and Toppers

A thunderous noise crescendos through the house and Janet Roberts, tarts in hand (and not in a good mood after dropping from 5th to 8th place), rushes into the lounge at Church Langley just in time to see Steve Dunlop (still heading the table following John Collins two points slippage this week) tumble out of the chimney and untidily onto the hearth rug.

‘Oh, ‘evening Janet. Sorry about the mess. Have you seen Mark Young?’ Stevie splutters, spitting out a piece of carpet fluff.

‘He’s been running around all morning tapping his watch and rabbiting on about being late for something, then, after coaxing me to come and look down the chimney, he gave me a shove!’

Janet sets the tarts on the table to give Stevie a hand up, ‘You’re a bit early to be honest Stevie, but David could do with a hand setting up the croquet. Look, he’s out there in the garden.’ Janet ushers him towards the patio doors.

‘Why don’t you go and lend him a hand? And keep your hands off the buffet!’

Stevie surreptitiously pockets a tart on the way out.

Chairman David (also out of spirits after dropping from 8th to 12th place) is turning a curious shade of red as his attempts to push the hoops between the crazy paving come to nothing. ‘Isn’t it about time you lent a hand?’ he chastises Joe Roberts (still in 3rd place despite his 5 point tally), who’s gazing on appreciatively from the padded swing.

‘Just chill Dad. And, hey, have you seen these mushrooms in the flowerbed? Just try them – man, they’ll really float your boat!’ Joe takes a deep puff from the hookah on the table beside him and passes it over to the Baggie’s boy who’s mysteriously appeared out of nowhere.

‘Wow, check out the silverware!’ Joe nods appreciatively as Mark offers his latest Grammy award for inspection.

‘Made my night on Monday…’ grins Mark – I nearly didn’t get there after trying to get Dunlop here from Benfica. Ungrateful b******d. i had to push him down the chimney in the end just to get rid of him!’

‘Well, make the most of it friend.’ Joe pats him on the back and flashes a wry smile. ‘looks like the only trophy you’re getting this year. The betting’s on for a Moonerazzi Cup win.’

As Mark splutters on the pungent smoke, another commotion begins at the end of the garden and a portly pair of predictors fall our onto the lawn. Ralph Hannah (30th) and Rob Molloy (25th) are locked in combat with everything they can grab from the potting shed and it looks as if Ralph has the upper hand.

‘I know I’m out of the running,’ puffs Ralph, ‘The only battle I’m in now is the overhauling of Rob Molloy. This lot should do that.’ and with that he crashes a pile of terracotta pots over the Reading man’s head.

Joe offers them both a tart if they shake hands and order is once more restored.

‘Yeah, beetroot. A bit strange – but it grows on you, believe me.’ he sympathises, as the earthy players munch through their reward.

It’s been a traumatic week at the top with the late jokers and a fresh run of form causing somewhat of a stir in the top ten:

Top scorers (with joker) Nigel Birrell (who moves from24th to 20th) is offering round the tea and doffing his titfer obsequiously at anybody who’ll listen to his exploits and Pete Yoder (who moves from 14th to 5th) is grinning so widely at nobody in particular he could hoover up an oil slick through his teeth.

Meanwhile, fellow joker, Gabe Bevilaqua (who lifts his prospects with 12 points, rising from 10th to 4th position) has been enticed by the Chairman to organise a Caucus race around the parked cars. Gabe’s been haring around so excitedly he’s making his fellow predictors quite giddy and it’s left to Statman Matt White, who was stirred from his slumbers by the eager leveret to restore order and begin the race.

Matt drops Janet’s Predictorship tea towel to begin the race and the exuberant top scorers of the week (9 points without joker) set off past the Mini Cooper – Simon Gold (holds 15th place), Alex Iskandar Liew (29th to 26th), Dave McAleer (32nd to 29th) and Dave Taylor (11th to 7th) are all eager to let of steam and a Janet is pleased to see them off her patio and out of her limey locks.

With Gabe out the way and order restored, David turns back to his construction and soon has the last peg knocked into the ground ready for the match to begin:

The 2 correct scorers line up: Hope Arnold (Birmingham, Tottenham), Simon Gold (Stoke, Wigan), Cathryn Gregory (Birmingham, Liverpool), Dave McAleer (Birmingham, Wigan), Saleel Sathe (Tottenham, Sunderland) and Dave Taylor (Tottenham, Sunderland) are each given an old Predictorship mug and set about hammering and their crockery wildy into Janet’s carefully arrange planters.

But more serious matters are afoot in the lounge. Predictors of the week: Ralph Hannah for Blackburn 2 Arsenal 1; Simon Gold and Dave McAleer for Wigan 2 Hull 2; Dave Breese, Rob Molloy and Sally Moon for Manchester City 3 Aston Villa 1; Cathryn Gregory, David Jones and Jill Taylor for Liverpool 0 Chelsea 2, have assembled to hear the Chairman’s judgment on the overall winner.

… but Janet has returned to find her plate of tarts filled with nothing but crumbs and from the angle of her beehive, it looks as if heads are about to roll.