For those of you who weren’t following the CAF Africa Cup Of Nations on the matchtracker (oh, wait….), lightly regarded Zimbabwe eliminated future U.S. World Cup opponent Ghana today. While this totally busts my CAF Africa Cup Of Nations bracket (oh, wait….), I can’t say I’m completely disappointed with the result.

Here’s my rationale: since Italy, the Czech Republic and Ghana are in the same group as the United States, they are now officially The Bad Guys. Any misfortune (injury, loss in a friendly, sex scandal, doping scandal, coach-being-fooled-into-talking-sh*t-about-his-players scandal) for any of these teams is a positive for the United States. Sure, it doesn’t feel good to root against an impoverished nation from the developing world, but at least this (the World Cup) is something in which the U.S. doesn’t flex its hegemonic biceps. And yes, that’s how I rationalize it.

Link:
Warriors stun Ghana [The Official Web Site of the 2006 Egypt MTN Africa Cup Of Nations — and they apparently have free video online]

The big question for U.S. Soccer supporters after today’s 5-0 thrashing of an understrength Norway squad: Which players helped their causes in the quest to be named to the Final 23 for Germany 2006?

With a cool hat-trick, Taylor Twellman finally showed his club-level form on the international stage. He finished 3 of his 4 chances nicely, and showed hustle on the defensive end as well. We saw TT score goal-scorer’s goals today. There’s nothing wrong with that: the U.S. needs forwards who can put the ball in the back of the net - as Eddie Johnson showed last year and Twellman did today. Twellman still did not connect well with his teammates, but at this point he’s a better option as a target man off the bench than Brian Ching, Conor Casey and Nate Jaqua.

Kerry Zavagnin impressed in the holding midfield role. With Pablo Mastroeni, Chris Armas and John O’Brien all currently injured, there’s an opportunity for defensive-minded midfielders to shine. Zavagnin did just this, snuffing out any Norway attack before it became at all dangerous, while starting the U.S. attack in a composed fashion. He made the simple pass, which on this day was also the correct one. On the other hand, Ben Olsen is too frantic in this role for my liking. KZ makes the final cut, for now.

Clint Dempsey fit in nicely in a Landon-Donovan-led midfield. Nominally, Dempsey was the right-sided midfielder, but his natural tendency to drift towards the middle of the field afforded Landycakes the freedom to play down the right wing. Dempsey also fell back effectively to collect the ball from defenders and start the attck. That being said, on game resets Dempsey held his shape and performed his duties on the right side defensively. Overall, Clint’s most complete national team appearance helps him edge out Steve Ralston and Chris Klein for the last offensive midfield position on the bench.

Todd Dunivant was the only player who did not impress, despite his two assists on the day. Too often he was out of position during U.S. possession, and his crosses for the most part were floated aimlessly. For all his supposed flaws, Frankie Hejduk played a much more effective match at fullback than his left-sided counterpart. Although his position is still up for grabs, I’ve seen enough from Todd Dunivant to know he is not the answer for Germany 2006.

Jimmy Conrad, Pat Noonan and Kevin Hartman did not do enough to distinguish themselves at three highly-competitive positions in the U.S. team. Hejduk, Eddie Pope, Josh Wolff, and Donovan played well enough to hold onto their coveted roster spots, for now.

The Final 23 (as of January 30, 2006):

Goalkeepers (3): Kasey Keller, Marcus Hahnemann, Tim Howard
Defenders (7): Steve Cherundolo, Eddie Pope, Oguchi Onyewu, Carlos Bocanegra, Frankie Hejduk, Gregg Berhalter, Cory Gibbs
Midfielders (9): Claudio Reyna, Landon Donovan, DaMarcus Beasley, John O’Brien, Eddie Lewis, Bobby Convey, Pablo Mastroeni, Clint Dempsey, Kerry Zavagnin
Forwards (4): Brian McBride, Eddie Johnson, Josh Wolff, Taylor Twellman

So yesterday afternoon I was watching highlights from Blackburn’s recent FA Cup match (a 4-2 loss to West Ham).

12 hours later, I was guzzling Red Bull and Vodkas like my name was Harry Sebring.

Coincidence, or subliminal marketing? [Ed’s note - in April 2005, Red Bull purchased struggling Austrian football club SV Salzburg.]

Apparently not everyone in Houston is excited about the new MLS club name. Forget the Alamo!

Rumors are swirling (and by swirling I mean I have seen one article so far) concerning a supposed bid by FC Barcelona to buy, invest, or start a new MLS franchise.

Does this mean Freddy will have a better chance of making it to Europe if DC United is bought by the European powerhouse? I’m sure he thinks so.
Barca Rumored to be looking at DC United purchase

So we had always heard rumors that Daily Show Talking-Head-In-Chief (and “Our Hero”) Jon Stewart played a little footy in college at William and Mary. This much we knew. What we didn’t know was that Jon’s team faced off with (and routinely lost to, apparently) none other than Bruce Arena’s UVA teams.

Also worth noting is Jon Stewart’s admission that things weren’t always so serious in college soccer in the early 80s; I think that’s a polite way of saying that “the coach didn’t care if we partied a lot or generally carried on like jackasses.”

What I’m really hoping for out of all of this (beyond a Bruce Arena appearance on The Daily Show, of course) is for U.S. Soccer to get a new celebrity fan. That is, a celebrity fan who isn’t Drew Carey. I don’t think that’s asking so much. At the very least they could get Rob Corddry to do a faux remote from Germany this summer.

Link:
Jon Stewart…On Soccer [Soccer America]

So the new franchise of Major League Soccer has elected itself a new name and new colors. According to the press release: “the HOUSTON 1836 team identity can be reproduced on a variety of backgrounds using the team’s primary colors of ‘Raven Black,’ ‘Space City Blue’ and ‘Wildcatter Orange.’ ”

Ummm, “Wildcatter Orange?” “Space City Blue??” For a definition of what the f*&k a “Wildcatter” is, please go here :Wildcatters UNITE!

As for Houston 1836 and the execs at MLS trying to emulate the storied names of other club teams of the world, I don’t entirely hate it. It looks pretty good and the logo isn’t terrible. I have to say I like it much more than the FC Dallas redesign that looks WAY too similar to the Houston Texans.

In doing some research, I found a few clubs around the world with years in their names. Help me add to this list as new discoveries are made:

1. 1860 Munchen (Germany: 2.Bundesliga: Currently 4th)
2. Hannover 96 (Germany: Bundesliga: Currently 4th)
3. Schalke 04 (Germany: Bundesliga: Currently 8th)
4. Pirin 1922 (Bulgaria: Premier League: Currently 13th)
5. TP-47 (Finland: Veikkausliiga: Currently 14th)
6. PK-35 (Finland: Ykkonen: Currently 3rd)
7. PP-70 (Finland: Ykkonen: Currently 8th)
8. VG-62 (Finland: Ykkonen: Currently 12th)
9. Chkalovets-1936 (Russia: First Division: Currently 10th)

I like adding another American to the PSV side. As long as DMB stays there I think they might be my Euro team to root for.

PSV signs another Yank

Man City announced last night that they had signed USA Captain (and generally underappreciated “Best USA Field Player”) Claudio Reyna to a one-year contract extension. Terms of the deal were not disclosed, but we can all be confident that Claudio will earn less than most backup centers in the NBA.

Claudio must be a pretty cool cat to get a new deal when he’s (a) 32, (b) has a history of injuries and (c) is injured right now. Still, with this new deal in place, plus the undoubtedly lucrative earnings from his book, Captain America should be able to retire comfortably to the Jersey suburbs and raise scrappy central midfielders with good field vision. After a few years of mailing it in in MLS, of course.

Link:
Reyna Signs On [Manchester City Official Site]

We’ll hear a lot from the footy blathermonkeys tipping Wayne Rooney and Kaka to star at this summer’s World Cup. And that’s all well and good. But how have they done for themselves off the pitch? That’s Mrs. Kaka, Caroline Celico on the left, and the future Mrs. Rooney, Coleen McLoughlin, on the right.

Errr, round one to the Brasilian!

Generally speaking, we consider posting photos of scantily clad women to be coarse and vulgar. And we hate to be getting down on people for not getting to the gym often enough. But there’s just SO MUCH great stuff in the British tabloids about these people that it really can’t be helped.

Link:
Classy Coleen goes from chav to chav-not [Daily Mail]