So I’m playing a little Winning Eleven, guiding the boys through their first season, when the XBox crashes (it does that a lot these days; poor little guy).

So I switch back to TV to catch the end of the (always excellent, UK-produced) EPL Preview show on Fox Soccer Channel, and whose voice do I hear but Winning Eleven/ Pro Evolution Soccer commentator Peter Brackley’s! Peter Brackley on my very own TV! Just moments after he’d been pronouncing words like “Ximelez” and “Iouga.”

Anyway, that’s what he looks like. And I definitely need to know more about this “stand-up comedy routine” from his bio.

(This is all a long way of saying that it was almost like playing an American sports video game.)

As our resident West Coast correspondent, I’ve grown accustomed to being out of phase with the timing of most big European footy matches. If you want to watch the domestic European leagues live, you need to be up and watching TV by 7. Extremely uncivilized.

Unfortunately, this week I’m a bit further to the west than usual. Or further to the east. Depends on how you slice it.

That is, you can imagine my dismay at missing the most highly anticipated match of this year’s Champions League (at least until the second leg of the tie), due to be broadcast here in Beijing at 3:30 am local time. While I appreciate that (a) the game is on TV at all and (b) my jet lag will enable me to catch the second Champions League broadcast at 6:00 am, I’m a little bummed I won’t be able to watch the CHE - BAR match live. Sigh.

I say Chelsea mugs them on the crappy pitch and takes a 2-1 lead back to the Nou Camp.

Link:
A Bunch of Soccer Stuff In Chinese [Sina.com.cn]

Finally, the good people at Nike and US Soccer have given us a glimpse of the products we’ll undoubtedly be purchasing ahead of our field trip to Germany this summer. The new USA kits are here. And you know what? They actually look pretty cool.

Instead of getting too complicated, they went a little retro (even a little “Victory”), and I like the result. I mean, I was going to buy one no matter what, but now I might actually pay full price and buy the officially licensed version! Who knew!

If I had to pick, I think I dig the white (home) kit a bit more.

(Also, they revealed the rest of the Nike team kits as well.)

Links:
Nike Unveils New 2006 Jerseys for U.S. Men’s National Team [US Soccer]
Innovate and Inspire: World Football ‘06 [Nikebiz.com]

I’ve long since resigned myself to the fact that U.S. Soccer announcers aren’t the high-end of global footy commentary, but after listening to the broadcast of this afternoon’s U.S.A – Slovakia Olympic hockey game, I was reminded of just how clueless the rest of our sports media is w/r/t coverage of international sports. That is, I didn’t realize just how little vocabulary our media has for the description of a game played by two countries. Allow me to nitpick:

(1) The announcers are so accustomed to broadcasting games featuring teams that fall within the typical naming conventions of North American sports (“The [Place/ University] [Nickname]s”) that they continuously stumble in the absence of the nickname, and fill the gap with “The [Name of Resident/ Citizen of Country In Question]s.” That is, since they can’t say “The Rangers,” they say “The Swedes.” What they mean to say is “Sweden.”
(2) Since we tend to refer to our Olympic teams as “Team U.S.A.” the announcers seem to think that other countries apply this naming convention as well. That is, the guys doing the radio broadcast of this afternoon’s hockey game (who were otherwise excellent – seriously, they were really good), kept referring to the U.S.’s opponent as “Team Slovakia.” I’m pretty sure that they don’t sell t-shirts in Bratislava that say “Team Slovakia.” Just a hunch.
(3) They refer to countries as a collective noun! No! NOOOOO!!!!!! The soccer way is so much cooler. That is, “Switzerland are playing well in this tournament,” not “Switzerland is playing well in this tournament.” This distinction is important. Very important.

Otherwise, I applaud all international sports competitions, specifically team sports, and I wish our athletes took their responsibilities to these competitions more seriously. I’ll shut up now.

So the Winning Eleven 9 West Coast squad has kicked off its 2006-2007 campaign. Which brings up an important queston. A very important question. Especially on Valentine’s Day. If you had to set up your sister with a member of the original Camena squad, who would it be? Remember, this is for posterity, so be honest.

If you’ve got ideas and/ or rationales, drop ‘em in the comments.

And here we thought Landycakes was just bitchy in re: CONCACAF and the people of Mexico. But apparently he feels empowered to level his snarkiness on athletes from other sports — especially ones who will likely pass Babe Ruth on the all-time home runs list.

That is, ahead of last night’s friendly against Japan at SBC Park, home of the San Francisco Giants, a reporter asked Landycakes who would get to sit in Barry Bonds’ famed recliner in the Giants’ clubhouse. To which Landycakes (of course) replied, “Me,” before quipping, “I’m just not touching his medicine cabinet.”

Whatever might you mean by that, Landycakes?

Link:
Landon Donovan on Barry Bonds’ Recliner [Bay Area Sports]

So today’s the big day. Or at least yesterday was supposed to be the big day, but due the peculiarities of the video game supply chain and distribution model, games that officially launch on a Tuesday don’t actually make it into stores until Wednesday. So despite the promises of game manufacturers and the gamer press, the February 7 launch date for Winning Eleven 9 actually means February 8.

(The folks at Konami really need to do something with the name — we’re edging ever closer to the release of Winning Eleven 11, an event which might tear a hole in the space-time continuum and make little Ximelez’s head explode.)

I really wouldn’t bring this up save for the fact that I rolled into two (2) stores yesterday trying desperately to purchase Winning Eleven 9, to no avail. I might also add that the exact same thing happened to me last year. And the year before that. I just keep thinking that this is going to be the year when they actually release the product on the day that the web sites say they will! I long to begin the extensive and arduous task of building up my Master League squad! And changing the uniforms!

And yes, I’ll be turning 30 this year.

Link:
Winning Eleven [Wikipedia]

“I’ll just say it — Bruce Arena has a love affair with Brian McBride,” Wynalda said.

“Is he considered a soccer expert?” Arena skeptically questioned of Wynalda.

And so goes the wonderful back and forth of Eric Wynalda (currently the U.S. leader in career goals, but Landycakes will take that over soon) and USMNT Coach Bruce Arena. Basically, Wynalda thinks that Brian McBride is getting a free ride from Arena and that Taylor Twellman should be playing more, A LOT more.

Personally, I think Wynalda is an idiot. In the article, Wynalda says that McBride doesn’t do much playing in the Barclay’s English Premiership and that it is easy to score in England compared to playing in the much more defense-minded French and German leagues. Ummm…have you watched the French league lately Mr. Wynalda? Seriously, defense is NOT their strong suit.

Read about the back and forth here: Wynalda loves Twellman long time [Link]

We’ve been remarkably mum about the whole Sven-Goran Eriksson affair. To summarize: Swedish-born England coach Sven-Goran Eriksson was baited into talking out of turn by an undercover reporter for News Of The World posing as an Arab sheik. Among other things, he called central defender Rio Ferdinand “lazy” and suggested that Wayne Rooney’s quick temper was a result of having grown up “poor.”

As you might imagine, this didn’t go over so well. In fact, it’s already been agreed that Sven will step down as England boss after the World Cup.

What I’m struggling with here (beyond wondering how this guy still has a job, at all) is the most appropriate parallel in U.S. sports. Would this be like Andy Reid taking a secret meeting with Daniel Snyder the week before the Super Bowl and saying that he thought Jevon Kearse was lazy and that TO’s antics were the result of his single-parent upbringing? I’m certainly open to suggestions here.

Link:
Eriksson To Quit England After World Cup [USA Today]