So apparently Real Madrid listed Ruud Van Nistelrooy on its website for a short time the other day. Which would be fine, except for the fact that Ruud is still a member of Manchester United.

The culperate? A “computer error,” of course. We are apparently nearing the T2 era, when machines have reached a state of consciousness and can sense that a much-rumored transfer is about to happen! (Although maybe we’re not there, since in this case the machines seem to have jumped the gun.) These are exciting times in which we live, to be sure!

Remember all the big fancy talk about Bruce Arena looking for work in Europe after the World Cup? Bruce himself even indulged those rumors a bit back when hopes were high (circa early May in Cary, NC). And it almost felt right — Bruce seemed like the kind of coach who might make an impact at a middle-tier European club willing to roll the dice with a foreign coach.

But instead of a foreign club, he signed up with foreign owners and took over the lame and sucky New York Red Bulls (RBVs). Hmmm. I mean, good for the Red Bulls. Sort of. And good for Bruce, since it sounds like he got a raise out of the deal. But I’m not terribly convinced that this is a job that will earn his full attention, and it’s tough to believe that Red Bulls fans (including the better part of the Camena staff) are going to get a better team out of the deal. Maybe Bruce can wave a magic wand and convince them that MLS soccer actually matters?

Now that we’ve had a couple days to process it all, would love to hear from the boys in the NYC about this. We’ve got bigger professional sports stories to fry up here in C@L.

Link:
Arena signs on to lead Red Bulls [New York Red Bulls]

The original story was that the rulings would come down on Sunday. But then Italy beat Germany and qualified for the World Cup Final, and the powers that be decided it would be in poor taste to ruin the day of the final with bad news about Italian football. Fine. We’ll do it Monday. But then Italy beat France and, well, no one wanted to break up that party, certainly not quite so soon. Not before a few parades and rallies at least. So they moved it to Friday, 7 pm (Italian time). That’s when the word would come down in re: will all these big clubs be punished for cheating?

Of course, 7 pm (Italian time) came and went. 8 pm, they said. And at 8 pm, we got the word (which, in all fairness, had already been reported by La Gazzetta Dello Sport): Juve, Fiorentina, and Lazio would all be sent to Serie B, and would start the season docked 30 (30!), 12, and 7 points, respectively. AC Milan would get to stay in Serie A, but would start at -15 in the table. None would be eligible to play in Europe. And Juve will forfeit the scudettos they’ve won the past two seasons (though the authorities aren’t quite sure to whom said scudettos will be awarded — Inter looks a likely beneficiary).

The quick reaction here is that Juve got off easier than some had thought (no demotion to C, which would have killed the club), Fiorentina will likely spend at least two seasons in B with Juve, Lazio has a shot at a quick turnaround, and Milan, well, Milan will just have to suffer through a yawner of a season at the San Siro.

Of course, all the verdicts of the “Sports Court” can be appealed, and we should expect a few more weeks of wrangling before the decision is final (which essentially means that each of the sentences will be softened by 15-20 percent).

So great, the authorities in Italian sport have shown the big clubs that they aren’t above the law. Wonderful. You really have to appreciate the irony about all this, though, given that the national team (all of whom play in Serie A) just WON THE WORLD CUP. You can almost imagine the arguments in the hearings:

“Sure, there is evidence of tampering. So what? A couple rich guys really wanted to win more than the other rich guys. Maybe a couple people made a little extra money on some wagers. So what? Does it actually hurt calcio? OF COURSE NOT! We just won the World Cup! Maybe this one particular quiz show was crooked, but we’re still the better than everyone else at quiz shows! Fine, we shouldn’t have spoken about the refs on the phone. Yes yes, it looks terrible. But, really, is it so bad that Signor Agnelli really likes to win? We are still champions of the world!”

(Really, it isn’t so crazy.)

Links:
Juve demands an appeal (B without a points deduction) [La Gazzetta]
From jubilation to relegation as Italy’s world is ripped apart [The Times (London)]

We’re going to miss you, Bruce. And not just for your smug sense of humor.

Bruce Arena stepped down as coach of the United States Men’s National Team today, a move that was surprising only in its timing. That is, it was a little sooner than I thought it would be, and on the same day as the Italian “Sports Court” announced the fates of the folks involved in the Serie A scandal(s). Oh. Right. No one in the U.S. cares about that, and no one in the rest of the football world cares about Bruce Arena. My bad.

Bruce Arena will be remembered as the best soccer coach the United States has ever produced. While it isn’t as though he was John Wooden or Joe DiMaggio (in terms of unassailable records), he did win a ton of games for the USMNT, maintained a strong record against Mexico, and won an elimination game at the World Cup finals. That’s pretty impressive, and the lameness of the U.S.’s most recent performances shouldn’t overshadow what he’s been able to accomplish. The USA certainly still has a way to go in world football, but we’re undeniably better (in terms of talent, results, and soccer IQ) than we were before Bruce took over — he was an excellent steward for American soccer at an important moment in its development.

Though we don’t have much official comment on the topic, it actually sounds like Klinsmann might be the guy. At least Landycakes seems to think so. Even better — where will Bruce land next? Will he get his shot with a European club? Or did the boys blow it for him in Germany?

Links:
Bruce Arena’s Eight-Year Tenure As U.S. National Team Head Coach Ends [US Soccer]
A change at the top [Soccernet]

In response to the trivia question from Saturday/ Sunday (and these results are as official as I think I can make them), the four Juve players who featured in the World Cup Finals but were not in the final for Italy and France are:

Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Sweden)
Pavel Nedved (Czech)
Emerson Da Rosa (Brazil)
Igor Tudor (Croatia)

Admittedly, the Tudor thing was a little tricky because he’s on loan at Siena. I didn’t have Appiah because he was sold to Fenerbahce in 2005.

(I can’t believe it’s over.)

(We can talk about Zizou tomorrow.)

And we are live from the line out front of The George And Dragon Pub in C@L’s charming Fremont neighborhood. I figured showing up at 8 am would at least get me a decent spot. Nope. The line was around the corner at 8:30, and is a complete disaster at this point. The regulars assure me that I’ll be able to see, though I’ll likely have to stand in the parking lot. Charming.

Anyhoo, I’m pretty excited for the game, and have been doing some cogitating about just how crazy it would be if the Azzurri won, given that most of these guys are going to have to change jobs in the next couple days (when they dismantle Italian soccer). If nothing else, this should provide ample fodder for Marcello Lippi to speechify prior to the game.

Signor Lippi, here’s how I would roll with it; feel free to substitute clichés as appropriate:

“Boys, this is the end of a long road. It goes without saying that we have worked very hard to get where we are. Many doubted us. Many thought that the recent unpleasantness [grumbles of laughter] back home would distract us. They thought we would crumble. Instead, it has only made us stronger.

In many ways, we don’t know what tomorrow will hold. Many of you will change clubs. Some may leave Italy.

But that is tomorrow.

For today, there is only one game. One game between you and your destiny. No matter what happens tomorrow, no matter what the politicians and judges say, no matter what the newspapers write, today is your chance to be a champion forever. To be remembered as the best team in the world. They can take away your clubs. They can try to shame and embarrass you. But they can never take away what you will do today. They can never take away what you will do on that pitch.

There is only today.”

(Okay, I’ll stop now. Also, the other people in line are looking at me funny.)

As has been noted in this space many (comma many comma many) times before over the past couple weeks, we’ve become pretty obsessed with the Azzurri fans’ White Stripes chant. Essentially, they all chant the bass line of of “Seven Nation Army” in unison again and again.

I had no idea what the origin of the cheer was (this was the first time I’d heard it), so I did some sleuthing (and by “sleuthing” I mean I put “the white stripes italy soccer” in the search box). Turns out that it was something that the Italians nicked from a group of Belgian supporters a couple months ago, and which has since been adopted by the Roma fans, who in turn have shared it with the Azzurri.

See below a link to a lovely podcast explaining the whole thing, including some great audio clips (around the 1:55 mark) of what it sounds like in the stadium, as well as a clip of Totti trying to do the cheer.

Awesome.

Link:
Global Hit [theworld.org]

A little bit of trivia ahead of tomorrow’s final. For the next few days at least (until the verdict comes down Monday morning), Juve will be able to boast that they own 12 players who were on World Cup Finals rosters. In case you were wondering, Arsenal have the most, with 15, followed by Chelsea with 14 and AC Milan with 13.

Remarkably, a full 8 of the 12 Juve players are on either the Italian or French rosters, 6 of whom should expect to start. The starters are Buffon, Cannavaro, Zambrotta, Thuram, Vieira, and Camoranesi, with Trezeguet and Del Piero not unlikely as subs. This is surely a very impressive feat for the Italian champions (and future denizens of Serie C); clubs with transfer budgets take note!

The trivia question: can you name the four (4) players owned by Juve who aren’t in the final? In in the interest of fairness, one is on loan with another club. The first one to answer correctly (and try not to cheat) will win an official F.C. Camena ringtone (.wav recording of me singing “So Are We Drinking” into my computer’s microphone).

Good luck!

I take it all back.

I’ve said some not-so-nice things about the Italian team and their fans over the past couple weeks:

For the avoidance of doubt, this Italian team was complete crap. Before minute 75 (when our guys completely ran out of gas), their offense consisted entirely of lobbing the ball towards Toni and Toni trying to fall down. I remain shocked the game didn’t end on a dubious penalty in the 89th minute. They’ll likely advance, but they will beat no one of consequence. There’s just no there there. June 19, 2006

That Italian team was a disgrace. Their supporters should be ashamed. June 17, 2006

And, this little charmer:

I will never root for an Italian team again. They were a disgrace, and I will cheer their eventual defeat at this tournament. June 21, 2006

So, to summarize, I was completely wrong about the Azzurri: they’ve beaten the most consequential team in the tournament, the hosts, and looked like anything but a disgrace in so doing. Admittedly, much of the above vitriol came out of the USA-Italia match in K-Town. I didn’t see Italy play Ghana, and missed their game against the Czech Republic as well. In retrospect, it appears that the USA game was the Italians’ worst effort of the tournament. They played without style or imagination, and seemed to do a lot of falling down. And I was steamed — I thought the USA deserved better that night. Also, this filthy Italian guy spat his blood at me.

So I was pissed.

And today, I take it all back. Not only do I appreciate how well this team has played, but I will be proud to root for them in the final. My reasons:

(1) The scandal back home: this deserves more words than I’m going to give it, but the fact that these guys have played this well in the face of the IMPENDING COLLAPSE OF ITALIAN FOOTBALL which will FORCE MOST OF THESE PLAYERS TO CHANGE TEAMS IN THE NEXT WEEK (Fire sale at Juve! Everything must go!) AND SEE FRIENDS SUFFER SERIOUS PENALTIES cannot be discounted. These guys had plenty of built-in excuses for trotting out a lousy performance (certainly a bunch more excuses than Brazil), and yet they’ve been focused in every match. Maybe the scandal back home was what they needed to come together as a team (insert appropriate cliche here).

(2) They have played against stereotypes: yes yes, everyone loves to give Italy grief for playing boring, defensive football. This team hasn’t skipped the defensive part — Fabio Cannavaro and Gigi Buffon have been spectacular, and the team has only conceded an own-goal against the US — while also managing to score a bunch of goals (11 total). Only Germany (13) have scored more — and they’ve had an extra game to do it. Even cooler: the 11 goals have come from 10 different players. They’ve managed to do this with a dodgy striker (LucaToni hasn’t been very impressive) and a hobbled playmaker (Totti). Against Germany, right when you expected Lippi to bring on defenders to try to lock the game down, he kept introducing strikers. Catenaccio? Not so much.

(3) We drew with them: a minor point for sure, but if the Azzurri win, the USA will have been the only team to get a result against them. Pitiful, I know, but it’s something.

(4) They did us all a favor and beat the hosts: the one thing I kept saying when I got back from the World Cup two weeks ago was how remarkable the home-field advantage actually is. After sampling the atmosphere at the tournament, it didn’t surprise me one bit that four European teams made the semits, or that a non-European team hasn’t won the tournament in Europe since 1958. France’s win in 1998 made a lot more sense. And, most of all, I was convinced it was going to be next to impossible to beat Germany — if only because of the power of the crowds. So when the Italian team hung on for 120 minutes against the hosts and had the courage to not only keep playing but win the game in the 118th minute, I was stunned. That took more than talent — that took courage and guts. The Azzurri had every opportunity to fold in that game, in the tournament’s loudest stadium (where Germany had never lost), but they kept fighting. They earned that game with every ounce of their souls. And that’s pretty compelling.

(5) The cool White Stripes thing: Daaaa-da-DA-da-dah-duuuuuh-duh. Daaaa-da-DA-da-dah-duuuuuh-duh. Seriously, I can’t get enough.

In conclusion, I’m pulling for the Azzurri. I am a hater no more. I gots no beef with France, but this Italian team has charmed me.

Forza Italia!

I’ll be honest, I had France crashing out in the Group Phase.

Despite the fact that the core of this French team had won two major trophies (The World Cup in 1998 and the European Championship in 2000), I couldn’t really get over their performance in the more recent championships. And when I saw that they were going to be trotting out the same-old-same-olds for this World Cup, well, it didn’t exactly inspire confidence.

Which, in retrospect, is a bit silly. I mean, it isn’t like Patrick Vieira, Claude Makalele and Thierry Henry aren’t among the best players in the world (with Henry making a pretty convincing case for being the best player in the world this past season). I had heard rumors about the Ribery guy, but didn’t really just how impressive he was. And I certainly didn’t expect Willy Sagnol to play like such a superhero. (Seriously, why aren’t more people talking about Sagnol? He owned, in succession, Roberto Carlos and Cristiano Ronaldo? What does he have to do?) Sure, Barthez/ Balles has been his usual erratic self (and probably has one more major blunder in him), but he’s gotten away with it so far.

Which all leads up to Zizou. This game tomorrow (as the media never tire of reminding us) is likely his last. While he probably isn’t the Zizou of 1998 (or even 2002), he’s still Zizou. The technical ability (fancy Euro term for his amazing ball skills) is completely ridiculous. And with Ribery out there, he doesn’t have to worry about running end to end. He can just quarterback the France offense from 30 yards out and do little tricks to make sure the ball finds its way to the right people. There were rumors that the French teams in 2002 and 2004 suffered from identity crises (other folks thought it was their time to be the big dog). Not so this time. Everyone’s deferring to Zidane, and it seems to be working perfectly. Most importantly, Zizou seems pretty intent on winning this tournament, which, if past data means anything, suggests that Italy will have their hands full tomorrow.

Hello, hello. It’s been a while.

It hasn’t been that we haven’t been watching the footy (we have). More that we were on semi-vacations across the board (along with some staffers being semi-homeless) and we just haven’t had much idle time with football and our internet connections.

I suppose it says something about me as a soccer fan, and especially an American soccer fan, that it took a crap article by some semi-literate blowhard in the Philly papers to get me back on Camena. Sigh. Perhaps that’s a conversation for another time. I guess I was just so shocked to read something like this; I thought the whole Jim Rome “Soccer sucks” things was a bit passe.

I guess not.

In case you’re not inclined to click through, Frank Fitzpatrick of the Philadelphia Inquirer argues that soccer is really boring on TV. He appears to argue for more stoppages and commercials (so he can get another beer and make wee-wee), and to contend that the fans sing because the action on the field is so boring (and this in Philadelphia, one of the few American sports cities lucky enough to have a sports song — “Fly, Eagles, Fly” — to sing!). And it wasn’t like he was dissing on half-assed MLS; this was a World Cup semifinal!

I know. I know. Probably just some WIP-ish bombast. I should know better than to be annoyed. But I couldn’t help myself. I sent him a flame mail. I really don’t care that he doesn’t enjoy the footy on TV, but it’s kind of awkward (for him) to actually publish thoughts like those. Makes him sound, what’s the word I’m looking for, “not terribly bright.”

Also, isn’t there an impending TO tell-all book that he should be covering? Get on that, would ya, Frank?

Link:
For the neophyte, soccer on TV can be a real trial [Philly.com]