The Predictorship Week 34 – Dynamic Dave Digs Deep

Players: 40 out of 49. Points scored: 224. Highest score: 9 (Dave Taylor). Average score: 5.60. Total correct scores: 27. Prediction of the Week: Scott Christie, Mike Dufficy, Ronan L’Heveder and Steve McHugh (Arsenal 3-1 Fulham).

Results: Blackburn Rovers 4-1 Charlton Athletic (0); Chelsea 2-2 Bolton Wanderers (0); Everton 2-4 Manchester United (0); Manchester City 0-2 Aston Villa (0); Middlesbrough 2-3 Tottenham Hotspur (0); Portsmouth 2-1 Liverpool (2); Sheffield United 1-0 Watford (10); Wigan Athletic 0-3 West Ham United (0); Arsenal 3-1 Fulham (4); Reading 1-0 Newcastle United (11).

Current Top 10 …

Pos. – Team – (Predictor) – Week 34 Points – Correct Results – Correct Scores – Total Points

1. MANCHESTER CITY (Christine Butters) – 8 – 181 – 48 – 229
2. CHELSEA (Dave Taylor) – 9 – 181 – 45 – 226
3. MANCHESTER UNITED (Hope Arnold) – 5 – 179 – 42 – 221
4. LIVERPOOL RESERVES (Saleel Sathe) – 8 – 167 – 48 – 215
5. JERSEY UNITED (Mike Dufficy) – 8 – 171 – 40 – 211
6. WEST BROMWICH ALBION (Mark Young) – 7 – 171 – 39 – 210
7. PETERBOROUGH UNITED (Steve McHugh) – 7 – 167 – 42 – 209
8. BENFICA (Steven Dunlop) – 6 – 169 – 40 – 209
9. IPSWICH TOWN (Nick Watson) – 4 – 162 – 45 – 207
10. BENGAL MUMBAI F.C. (Haresh Mirani) – 7 – 156 – 48 – 204

Dynamic Dave Taylor ups the ante with a perfectly-timed nine-point salvo. The Chelsea man shrugs off Champions League heartbreak and now lurks just three points behind Manchester City’s Christine Butters, who has now topped the Predictorship for 15 consecutive weeks. To all intents and purposes, it’s developed into a two-horse race for the title.

The leaders will sleep comfortably tonight knowing it’s mathematically impossible for them to finish lower than eighth (Christine) and ninth (Dave) – but they have much bigger fish to fry.

Hope Arnold is left marooned in third after a disappointing return and Saleel Sathe can now smell a podium finish, an eight-point week taking him to within striking distance of Hope. Last season’s victorious predictor, Mike Dufficy, is once again in the end-of-season shake-up, coming up on the rails quicker than a riderless horse at Aintree.

With just two weeks to go, brace yourselves for more twists and turns than a never-ending rollercoaster. Glory and pride are on offer, but only to those who hold on tight and are able to prevent the contents of their stomachs from making an impromptu appearance as the finish line looms large. The best of luck to you all.

Quote of the Week …

“I have always been able to do this job (presumably football management). I have never heard a bad word during six years of travelling around the country” – Sven-Goran Eriksson. Well Sven, if you’re reading this, here’s a few bad words for you: “You were rubbish as England manager. Now go away”.

Where Are They Now? (Part 5) …

Tomas Brolin, chubby Swede who single-handedly wrecked England’s chances of progressing to the latter stages of Euro ’92. Brolin became the youngest ever Premiership manager when, at the tender age of 28, he took charge of Crystal Palace with Italian “legend” Attilio Lombardo. His tenure lasted all of six months, after which “Brolle” retired from football and returned to Sweden, where, obviously short of a bob or two, he ended up selling shoes and vacuum cleaner mouthpieces on the internet. And it doesn’t end there. He took part-ownership in a property firm with his father, opened an Italian-Swedish restaurant in Stockholm called Undici (Italian for 11, the number shirt he wore in Parma), (dis)graced Swedish non-league football as a goalkeeper, made a record with Europap supremo Doctor Alban (which required him to lie in a bath with a bevvy of busty blondes), starred in a jacuzzi advert and grabbed the headlines when his car collided with an elk. Only God knows what he’s up to now, but it’s our duty to have a cheap laugh at his expense.

John Chiedozie, “swift, nimble and injury-prone” former Nigeria, Leyton Orient, Notts County, Tottenham and Derby midfielder who was as “quick as a hare”, according to Kenny Dalglish. John, who seemed to turn up in virtually every packet of Panini stickers I collected as a child, is now running his own bouncy castle business, renting out inflatables and animals for children’s parties in Hampshire. Insert your own joke here.