May 10, 2007

The Nottingham Florist

The Predictorship Week 35 - United They Stand, Divided They’ll Fall …

by @ 4:53 am. Filed under Merry Old England, The Predictorship (TM)

Players: 39 out of 49. Points scored: 188. Highest score: 8 (Gabe Bevilacqua, Scott Christie, John Collins and Cathryn Harker). Average score: 4.82. Total correct scores: 25. Prediction of the Week: John Collins (West Ham United 3-1 Bolton Wanderers). Seasonal Highs: Simon Gold (20th) and Trevor Morris (37th).

Results: Manchester City 0-1 Manchester United (2); Everton 3-0 Portsmouth (0); Fulham 1-0 Liverpool (1); Newcastle United 0-2 Blackburn Rovers (1); Reading 0-2 Watford (0); West Ham United 3-1 Bolton Wanderers (1); Wigan Athletic 0-1 Middlesbrough (6); Aston Villa 3-0 Sheffield United (1); Arsenal 1-1 Chelsea (5); Charlton Athletic 0-2 Tottenham Hotspur (8).

Current Top 10 …

Pos. - Team - (Predictor) - Week 35 Points - Correct Results - Correct Scores - Total Points

1. MANCHESTER CITY (Christine Butters) - 4 - 185 - 48 - 233
2. CHELSEA (Dave Taylor) - 7 - 187 - 46 - 233
3. MANCHESTER UNITED (Hope Arnold) - 5 - 184 - 42 - 226
4. LIVERPOOL RESERVES (Saleel Sathe) - 5 - 172 - 48 - 220
5. JERSEY UNITED (Mike Dufficy) - 7 - 177 - 41 - 218
6. BENFICA (Steven Dunlop) - 6 - 174 - 41 - 215
7. WEST BROMWICH ALBION (Mark Young) - 5 - 176 - 39 - 215
8. PETERBOROUGH UNITED (Steve McHugh) - 5 - 172 - 42 - 214
9. IPSWICH TOWN (Nick Watson) - 6 - 166 - 47 - 213
10. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (Gabe Bevilacqua) - 6 - 175 - 37 - 212

Thirty-five weeks of predicting and it all comes down to a one-week shoot-out.

As we hurtle headlong into the final week of the 2006-2007 season, a rattled Christine Butters extends her stay at the top of the Predictorship table to 16 consecutive weeks, but a superior correct scores tally is all that now keeps the wolf from the door. Dave Taylor’s forward momentum and unwavering loyalty to the 1-0 prediction has him primed to snatch the title at the death.

The permutations are as follows:
1. If Christine scores more points than Dave next week, she wins the title (obviously).
2. If Dave scores more points than Christine, he wins the title (keep up at the back).
3. If Christine and Dave score the same number of points, Christine wins the title unless Dave bags two more correct scores, in which case we all panic, flood league chairman David Roberts with e-mails containing very tricky, unanswerable questions and try to devise a more scientific way to separate contenders with the same number of correct results and correct scores than
the dreaded alphabetical order method.

There has to be a way (even though I can’t think of one right now). Rest assured, if Predictorship glory slips through Dave’s hands due to a surname that begins with the letter ‘T’, we’ll be seeing him in court, warming the benches alongside Carlos Tevez, representatives of Sheffield United and Wigan and the good-for-nothing monkeys who run the FA.

After a tumultuous final third of the season, there’s light at the end of the tunnel for soon-to-be-deposed Predictorship Cup holder John Collins, who claims not one but two unique correct scores: ‘Prediction of the Week’ winner West Ham 3-1 Bolton and an extremely rare Villa goal-fest, Aston Villa 3-0 Sheffield United. Scott Christie (Newcastle 0-2 Blackburn) and Cathryn Harker (Fulham 1-0 Liverpool) complete the roll of honour for unique correct score predictions in week 35.

Still to come this season …

The Predictorship Cup final, your chance to vote for the ‘Prediction of the Season’ and more stats than you can shake a very large stick at. Don’t move a muscle …

Pointless task of the week …

Go immediately to http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/get_involved/4466770.stm and make
your very own Peter Crouch mask for the Champions League final. If old gangly-legs is not your cup of tea, David Beckham, Steven Gerrard, Thierry Henry, Ronaldinho, Wayne Rooney and Ruud Van Nistelrooy are enticing alternatives. Or, if you’re feeling really brave, become Pierluigi Collina or Sven-Goran Eriksson and watch the women come flocking. Don’t miss out, download your mask now!

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Copyright 2005-2006 F.C. Camena.

ca·me·na n. A tactical system of football/ soccer characterized by extreme fighting spirit, impassioned defense, opportunistic attacking, and a proclivity for profanity-laden orations regarding the competency and/ or partiality of match officials.

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