The Predictorship: Week 3 – Birrell & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Nigel Birrell and Ted Warland are week 3’s hotshots, both slotting home 10 times. Arsenal fan Ted lies fourth in the table, just two points off the pace, as Charlton Pathetic’s Nigel rises 22 places to 14th.

Four predictors weigh in with nine points: Mike Dufficy (2nd), Alex Iskandar Liew (6th), Dave Taylor (7th) and Stewart Newport (10th), but Seattle Gooners boss Maziar Sattari remains in pole position for a second week, his scores arriving in the nick of time following an ill-timed “outbox malfunction”.

Southampton’s Tom Palmer and the aforementioned Ted share ‘Prediction of the Week’ honours for Middlesbrough 2-2 Newcastle – two of an incredible 59 correct score predictions. Fifteen bright sparks (38.4% of this week’s predictorate) “gambled” on Aston Villa 2-1 Fulham.

On the card front, 11 players pick up yellow cards this week, including the nine basement boys and girl who have been absent for all three weeks of the season (where are ya?), and Michael Whitty sees red – sent to the stands after an altercation with a Predictorship official.

Finally, some food for thought. Should The Predictorship be renamed The Predictor League now the top tier of English football is referred to as The Premier League?

Premiership Results (Week 3): Arsenal 1-0 Manchester City (7); Aston Villa 2-1 Fulham (15); Bolton 3-0 Reading (0); Chelsea 1-0 Portsmouth (3); Derby 1-2 Birmingham (6); Everton 1-1 Blackburn (4); Sunderland 0-2 Liverpool (12); West Ham 1-1 Wigan (5); Manchester United 1-0 Tottenham (6); Middlesbrough 2-2 Newcastle (2).
* Figures in brackets show the number of correct score predictions for each game.

Highest Score (Week 3): 10 – Nigel Birrell, Ted Warland.
Average Score (Week 3): 6.87.
Predictions of the Week (Week 3): Tom Palmer and Ted Warland (Middlesbrough 2-2 Newcastle).

Top of the Table (Week 3):

1. Seattle Gooners (Maziar Sattari) – 22 pts
2. Jersey United (Mike Dufficy) – 22 pts
3. FC Squan 1980 (Patrick Bevilacqua) – 21 pts
4. Arsenal (Ted Warland) – 20 pts
5. Manchester City (Christine Butters) – 20 pts
6. Tricky Trees (Alex Iskandar Liew) – 20 pts
7. Chelsea (Dave Taylor) – 20 pts
8. Liverpool (Joe Zalewski) – 19 pts
9. Millwall (John Collins) – 19 pts
10. Wycombe Wanderers (Stewart Newport) – 19 pts

“I’ve had a good long word with myself and have let it be known that a two-point haul simply isn’t good enough and if I don’t see six points plus week in week out I’ll be getting some Spanish fella I’ve never heard of to come in and do my predictions” – Ipswich Town gaffer Nick Watson (six points). I hear Manuel from Fawlty Towers is looking for work …

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