Chelseaâ€™s Dave Taylor surges to the head of the class with a top score of 10, and thereâ€™s more good news in the Taylor household as Dartmoor Rover Jill (aka Daveâ€™s WAG) leaps into the top 10. Neighbours are strongly advised to brace themselves for the ensuing wild celebrations.
Dave, last seasonâ€™s runner-up, had three 1-0 results to thank for his bumper return; Jill, the 2-0 queen, hit the jackpot at Middlesbrough and picked up enough points elsewhere to give hubby a good run for his money (there are no shared bank accounts in the Predictorship). Saleel Sathe matches Jillâ€™s nine points with three correct scores of his own â€“ or rather the same three as Dave as 1-0 fever spreads like the plague through the Predictorship.
Contenders for â€˜Prediction of the Weekâ€™ were few and far between until Millwallâ€™s John Collins stepped up to the plate (not a Predictorship one, I hasten to add). Aston Villa 1 Chelsea 0 is as bold and daring as predictions come and John was just a couple of minutes away from assuming God-like status when an angel called Gabriel Agbonlahor (heâ€™s half Nigerian, half Scottish, not that youâ€™d ever know) descended upon the Chelsea goal to make it 2-0.
Cypriarkos F.C.â€™s Neil Hayes and Michael Whittyâ€™s aptly-named Bunch of Losers pick up yellow cards this week, and thereâ€™s another round of reds for the â€œNaughty Nineâ€, who all face extermination next week. We donâ€™t want their sort hanging around our league.
The Unanswerables …
Why do some commentators refer to the goal as â€œthe goalsâ€? Yes, there are two goals, one at either end of the pitch. You canâ€™t have two goals at one end. That would just be silly.
Why does the trainerâ€™s magic spray always rejuvinate a prostrate footballer? What exactly goes into those magic cans?
Why is Emile Heskey back in the England squad for vital Euro 2008 qualifiers?
And while weâ€™re at it: Why are strawberries always half price in supermarkets? When was the last time you paid a full-price Â£4 for a punnet? Never? Ha!
Premiership Results (Week 4): Bolton 1-2 Everton (7); Fulham 3-3 Tottenham (0); Liverpool 6-0 Derby (0); Manchester United 1-0 Sunderland (4); Middlesbrough 2-0 Birmingham (5); Newcastle 1-0 Wigan (8); Reading 0-3 West Ham (0); Arsenal 3-1 Portsmouth (0); Aston Villa 2-0 Chelsea (0); Blackburn 1-0 Manchester City (6).
* Figures in brackets show the number of correct predictions for each game.
Highest Score (Week 4): 10 â€“ Dave Taylor.
Average Score (Week 4): 6.40.
Prediction of the Week (Week 4): John Collins (Aston Villa 1-0 Chelsea).
Top of the Table (Week 4):
1. Chelsea (Dave Taylor) â€“ 30 pts
2. Jersey United (Mike Dufficy) â€“ 29 pts
3. Seattle Gooners (Maziar Sattari) â€“ 28 pts
4. Manchester City (Christine Butters) â€“ 27 pts
5. Arsenal (Ted Warland) â€“ 27 pts
6. Liverpool (Joe Zalewski) â€“ 26 pts
7. Tricky Trees (Alex Iskandar Liew) â€“ 26 pts
8. Millwall (John Collins) â€“ 26 pts
9. Dartmoor Rovers (Jill Taylor) â€“ 26 pts
10. FC Squan 1980 (Patrick Bevilacqua) â€“ 25 pts
From the BBC Sport website: â€œGold admitted he had sympathy with the view that the increasingly cosmopolitan look of the English game was having an adverse effect on the national team, but said it was a price fans would have to pay for the â€œgreatest league in the worldâ€. Thanks for that, Simon.