The Predictorship: Week 7 – Morris Dancing (With Delight)

What do Dave McAleer (Crystal Palace), Trevor Morris (Sunderland) and Ben Wallis (Northampton Town) all have in common (besides supporting rubbish teams)? They all share this week’s highest score (eight) following another difficult weekend of predicting.

This news will come as a relief to Trevor, in particular, whose wretched campaign – including four weeks on the bench – had threatened to derail his title challenge before it’d even begun. Yes, he’s still propping up the table, but Trevor’s Tyne and Wear charges are now within touching distance (two points) of Michael Whitty’s Bunch of Losers and all the other under-achieving predictors for whom the winter will be long and, furthermore, hard.

One of the Predictorship’s unwritten laws is never let your honeymoon get in the way of sending in your predictions. Don’t forget Bill Shankly’s immortal words of wisdom, conveniently tampered with here in search of a cheap laugh: “Football is not a matter of life, marriage and death. It’s far more important than the wife”. Linfield’s James Bradley is therefore guilty as charged, picking up a red card and putting himself in relegation peril for taking a new wife and giving her his undivided attention. It just won’t do.

Premiership Results (Week 7): Arsenal 5-0 Derby (0); Fulham 3-3 Manchester City (0); Liverpool 0-0 Birmingham (1); Middlesbrough 2-2 Sunderland (2); Reading 2-1 Wigan (10); Aston Villa 2-0 Everton (4); Blackburn 0-1 Portsmouth (0); Bolton 1-1 Tottenham (2); Manchester United 2-0 Chelsea (7); Newcastle 3-1 West Ham (0).
* Figures in brackets show the number of correct predictions for each game.

Highest Score (Week 7): 8 – Dave McAleer, Trevor Morris and Ben Wallis.
Average Score (Week 7): 5.29.
Predictions of the Week (Week 7): Trevor Morris and Michael Whitty (Middlesbrough 2-2 Sunderland).

Top of the Table (Week 7):
1. Chelsea (Dave Taylor) – 49 pts
2. Jersey United (Mike Dufficy) – 47 pts
3. Seattle Gooners (Maziar Sattari) – 44 pts
4. Charlton Athletic (Nigel Birrell) – 44 pts
5. Philadelphia Eagles (Gabe Bevilacqua) – 44 pts
6. Wycombe Wanderers (Stewart Newport) – 44 pts
7. Everton (Hope Arnold) – 43 pts
8. Clapton F.C. (Cathryn Harker) – 43 pts
9. West Ham United (Wendy Nathan) – 43 pts
10. Millwall (John Collins) – 43 pts

“Tal Ben Haim – a defender in name only. He has all the positional awareness of a toddler on a merry-go-round” – BBC Sport columnist and self-confessed soccer nut Derek ‘Robbo’ Robson.

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