What a weekend of Cup action.

In the battle of the haves and the havants, non-league Havant & Waterlooville score two goals against Liverpool and lead their Premier League opponents twice at Anfield, Derby and Manchester City (the latter magnificently hindered by stray balloons) are humbled by lower league opposition to leave just six top-flight teams in the last 16, and there are no less than 15 casualties in Round 1 of The Predictorship Cup, where league champions elect Jersey United come crashing down at the first hurdle, a Bunch of Losers rip the form book to shreds with their bare hands, Everton put a disappointing league campaign behind them to make Chelsea blue and several teams are left with foul-smelling egg on their collective faces.

In fact, it’s been such a busy weekend that there’s no time to discuss why on earth England full-back Ashley Cole would want to play – and throw up – away from home (allegedly) when he’s married to Girls Aloud hottie Cheryl.

Tabloid fodder aside, Nigel Birrell’s Charlton Athletic overcome Mike Dufficy’s Jersey United 7-8 to claim the biggest scalp of the weekend. Eight points help Nigel up to fourth in the league while Mike, who has to concentrate on the league now that his Cup dream has faded, remains 10 points clear at the top. Some consolation.

Dave Taylor’s high-flying Chelsea are also out of the Cup, ousted 9-7 away to Hope Arnold’s Everton – despite Hope predicting wins for both Newcastle and Peterborough. Another sizeable pinch of salt is deposited on Dave’s already stinging wound by Christine Butters’ Manchester City, who sees her team climb to second in the league, their highest placing of the season, on their way to deflating Iain Starr’s Starsenal 7-8.

Michael Whitty’s Bunch of Losers, meanwhile, bring a ray or two of light shining down on their wretched league campaign with a surprise 7-10 victory at Saleel Sathe’s Liverpool Reserves. It’s the stuff dreams are made of.

Elsewhere in the Cup, Joe Zalewski’s Liverpool suffer a fate worse than being “cut in half” by Robert Huth’s flailing boot. The Reds quite literally fail to turn up and fight for their Cup survival, going down 0-11 at home to Wendy Nathan’s West Ham. Congratulations to Wendy, who’s the week’s top scorer with 11, consisting of perfect scores for the games at Portsmouth, Wigan and Sheffield United, but she really didn’t need to try so hard.

Stewart Newport’s Wycombe Wanderers also get a drubbing at the south coast hands of Tom Palmer’s Southampton (8-0), while Marion Waller’s Queens Park Rangers bang in 10 at Trevor Morris’ Sunderland with the assistance of NINE correct results. Derby 2 Preston 1 was Marion’s only wrong turn.

Incredibly, every one of the weekend’s 16 FA Cup ties was decided one way or the other in 90 minutes, without the need for any replays. In The Predictorship Cup, just one tie will be re-contested this coming weekend: the Goliath vs. Goliath encounter between Dave McAleer’s Crystal Palace and Cathryn Harker’s Clapton F.C., which finished 9-9.

Predictorship Statto carried out some more eye-opening research this weekend, totting up the goals predicted for and against Liverpool for their anticipated rout of Havant & Waterlooville at Anfield. Forty predictors forecast 154 goals for Liverpool (average score 3.85) and seven goals for the part-timers. In a gallant attempt to bring back some high-scoring excitement to the predicting process, yours truly went for 8-0, with only Trevor Morris (7-0) coming along for the ride. You were offered a rare chance to bring your high numbers out of the closest. You didn’t.

The Predictorship Cup: Round 1

1. BLACKBURN ROVERS (Sally Moon) (9) 9-8 WATFORD (David Roberts) (17)
2. SOUTHAMPTON (Tom Palmer) (30) 8-0 WYCOMBE WANDERERS (Stewart Newport) (29)
3. LIVERPOOL RESERVES (Saleel Sathe) (10) 7-10 BUNCH OF LOSERS (Michael Whitty) (41)
4. PETERBOROUGH UNITED (Steve McHugh) (20) 8-5 TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR (Simon Gold) (19)
5. SUNDERLAND (Trevor Morris) (34) 8-10 QUEENS PARK RANGERS (Marion Waller) (36)
6. JERSEY UNITED (Mike Dufficy) (1) 7-8 CHARLTON ATHLETIC (Nigel Birrell) (5)
7. LIVERPOOL (Joe Zalewski) (21) 0-11 WEST HAM UNITED (Wendy Nathan) (7)
8. CRYSTAL PALACE (Dave McAleer) (6) 9-9 CLAPTON F.C. (Cathryn Harker) (8)
9. TRICKY TREES (Alex Iskandar Liew) (16) 8-7 WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS (Pete Yoder) (28)
10. STARSENAL (Iain Starr) (33) 7-8 MANCHESTER CITY (Christine Butters) (3)
11. EVERTON (Hope Arnold) (32) 9-7 CHELSEA (Dave Taylor) (2)
12. DARTMOOR ROVERS (Jill Taylor) (12) 8-9 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (Gabe Bevilacqua) (15)
13. SEATTLE GOONERS (Maziar Sattari) (14) 9-8 BENFICA (Steven Dunlop) (18)
14. NOTTINGHAM FOREST (Matthew White) (4) 7-6 NORTHAMPTON TOWN (Ben Wallis) (23)
15. NEW ENGLAND (Anuradha Shenoy) (11) 9-8 FC SQUAN 1980 (Patrick Bevilacqua) (13)
16. WEST BROMWICH ALBION (Mark Young) (22) 8-7 IPSWICH TOWN (Nick Watson) (24)

* Figures in brackets show league position on 26th January.

Round 1 Replay (2nd-3rd February)

1. CLAPTON F.C. (Cathryn Harker) (8) v CRYSTAL PALACE (Dave McAleer) (6)

FA Cup Round 4 Results (Week 26): Mansfield 0-2 Middlesbrough (12); Arsenal 3-0 Newcastle (1); Derby 1-4 Preston (0); Liverpool 5-2 Havant & Waterlooville (0); Peterborough 0-3 West Bromwich Albion (0); Portsmouth 2-1 Plymouth (8); Watford 1-4 Wolves (0); Wigan 1-2 Chelsea (9); Manchester United 3-1 Tottenham (4); Sheffield United 2-1 Manchester City (4).

* Figures in brackets show the number of correct predictions for each game.

Highest Score (Week 26): 11 – Wendy Nathan.
Average Score (Week 26): 7.55.
Predictions of the Week (Week 26): Hope Arnold, Wendy Nathan, Marion Waller and Michael Whitty (Sheffield United 2-1 Manchester City); Gabe Bevilacqua, Rob Molloy, Trevor Morris and Nicola Savage, who all predicted a win for Preston at Derby.

Top of the Table (Week 26):

1. Jersey United (Mike Dufficy) – 194 pts
2. Manchester City (Christine Butters) – 184 pts
3. Chelsea (Dave Taylor) – 184 pts
4. Charlton Athletic (Nigel Birrell) – 182 pts
5. Nottingham Forest (Matthew White) – 182 pts
6. West Ham United (Wendy Nathan) – 181 pts
7. Crystal Palace (Dave McAleer) – 180 pts
8. Clapton F.C. (Cathryn Harker) – 179 pts
9. Blackburn Rovers (Sally Moon) – 177 pts
10. New England (Anuradha Shenoy) – 176 pts

Maziar Sattari’s Gooners are the pride of Seattle – and north London – with 12 points, a return that lifts the Arsenal fan up to 14th.

Maziar’s magic haul, matched or bettered by only five predictors this term and one up on his two scores of 11 in weeks 2 and 19, is made up of four correct scores: the games at Blackburn, Reading, Wigan and – most impressively – Newcastle, where King Kev’s second coming was expected to herald the return of the “You score four, we’ll score five” mentality. Not a bit of it. Only Maziar and, with alarming predictability, Norma No Mates, were perfectly in toon with the ensuing goalless bore draw.

For the first time this season, all 10 fixtures attracted at least one correct prediction, which goes some way to explaining this week’s healthy average (7.59) and impressive, double-digit returns for Stewart Newport (11), Joe Zalewski (11), Rob Dimery (10), Steve McHugh (10) – who sets a new seasonal high as he rises from 23rd to 20th – and Ted Warland (10). Furthermore, we very nearly had a full turn-out of predictors this week: 42 took to the field of play with only you-know-who absent for the 13th consecutive week.

It’s the same old story at the top, with Mike Dufficy extending his lead to 10 points over Dave Taylor, who ended up cursing injury-time goals by Manchester United and Tottenham that scuppered his chances of picking up another two 1-0 results and a total of nine points. Seven it was.

David Roberts and Janet Jones, meanwhile, Church Langley’s bride- and groom-to-be, understandably have other things on their minds as their wedding day looms on the horizon, but David’s three points and Janet’s four hastily bring the words ‘focus’ and ‘take each weekend as it comes’ and the odd flying teacup and/or boot into, and hurtling across, the couple’s respective dressing rooms.

The Predictorship Cup …

The draw has been made for Round 1 of The Predictorship Cup, which kicks off next weekend (26th-27th January). To counter allegations of match-fixing, the 32 teams involved were numbered 1-32 in alphabetical order, from Benfica to Wycombe Wanderers, and subjected to Nick Watson’s tamper-proof Randomizer 32, which, as the name suggests, chucked out the numbers in a fashion that can only be described as random.

One tie sticks out like a sore thumb: barely seven days after both reeled in 10 points in week 24, Mike Dufficy’s Jersey United, 10 points clear at the top of the league, welcome Charlton Athletic’s Nigel Birrell, showing an increasing degree of menace in fifth, to the largest of the Channel Islands.

The only other tussle involving teams currently residing in the league’s top 10 pits Dave McAleer’s sixth-placed Crystal Palace against Cathryn Harker’s eighth-placed Clapton F.C., while Cup minnows, Michael Whitty’s Bunch of Losers, down and almost out in 41st, will bus it to Saleel Sathe’s 10th-placed Liverpool Reserves. The full draw looks something like this:

Round 1 (26th-27th January)

1. BLACKBURN ROVERS (Sally Moon) (9) v WATFORD (David Roberts) (17)
2. SOUTHAMPTON (Tom Palmer) (30) v WYCOMBE WANDERERS (Stewart Newport) (29)
3. LIVERPOOL RESERVES (Saleel Sathe) (10) v BUNCH OF LOSERS (Michael Whitty) (41)
4. PETERBOROUGH UNITED (Steve McHugh) (20) v TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR (Simon Gold) (19)
5. SUNDERLAND (Trevor Morris) (34) v QUEENS PARK RANGERS (Marion Waller) (36)
6. JERSEY UNITED (Mike Dufficy) (1) v CHARLTON ATHLETIC (Nigel Birrell) (5)
7. LIVERPOOL (Joe Zalewski) (21) v WEST HAM UNITED (Wendy Nathan) (7)
8. CRYSTAL PALACE (Dave McAleer) (6) v CLAPTON F.C. (Cathryn Harker) (8)
9. TRICKY TREES (Alex Iskandar Liew) (16) v WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS (Pete Yoder) (28)
10. STARSENAL (Iain Starr) (33) v MANCHESTER CITY (Christine Butters) (3)
11. EVERTON (Hope Arnold) (32) v CHELSEA (Dave Taylor) (2)
12. DARTMOOR ROVERS (Jill Taylor) (12) v PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (Gabe Bevilacqua) (15)
13. SEATTLE GOONERS (Maziar Sattari) (14) v BENFICA (Steven Dunlop) (18)
14. NOTTINGHAM FOREST (Matthew White) (4) v NORTHAMPTON TOWN (Ben Wallis) (23)
15. NEW ENGLAND (Anuradha Shenoy) (11) v FC SQUAN 1980 (Patrick Bevilacqua) (13)
16. WEST BROMWICH ALBION (Mark Young) (22) v IPSWICH TOWN (Nick Watson) (24)

* Figures in brackets show league position on 21st January.

The best of luck to all 32 teams this weekend. And remember, even if you’ve already been knocked out of the Cup, where you’re in the good company of previous winners Millwall and Sheffield Wednesday, there are still important league points up for grabs.

If you’ve been living under a rock, or opted out of reading this full report, let me be the first to break the news: King Kev’s back - again - at Newcastle. Overlooking the Daily Star’s revelation that BOTH his daughters are dating Manchester United fans, we take a more considered view of Keegan’s jaw-dropping appointment by offering you 20 of his most quotable quotes, in no particular order of daftness:

* “The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they’re not careful”
* “I’ll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again”
* “The tide is very much in our court now”
* “It’s like a toaster, the ref’s shirt pocket. Every time there’s a tackle, up pops a yellow card”
* “The ref was vertically 15 yards away”
* “Goalkeepers aren’t born today until they’re in their late 20s or 30s”
* “You can’t do better than go away from home and get a draw”
* “I’m not disappointed - just disappointed”
* “A tremendous strike which hit the defender full on the arm - and it nearly came off”
* “I know what’s around the corner - I just don’t know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon”
* “In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg”
* “It’s understandable that people are keeping one eye on the pot and another up the chimney”
* “I’d love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time”
* “Argentina won’t be at Euro 2000 because they’re from South America”
* “They’re the second best team in the world, and there’s no higher praise than that”
* “Luis Figo is totally different to David Beckham, and vice versa”
* “I want more from David Beckham. I want him to improve on perfection”
* “You get bunches of players like you do bananas, though that is a bad comparison”
* “Shaun Wright-Phillips has got a big heart. It’s as big as him, which isn’t very big, but it’s bigger”
* “Nicolas Anelka left Arsenal for £23 million and they built a training ground on him”

Premier League Results (Week 25): Birmingham 0-1 Chelsea (4); Blackburn 1-1 Middlesbrough (5); Fulham 0-3 Arsenal (7); Newcastle 0-0 Bolton (2); Portsmouth 3-1 Derby (2); Reading 0-2 Manchester United (16); Tottenham 2-0 Sunderland (7); Manchester City 1-1 West Ham (8); Wigan 1-2 Everton (17); Liverpool 2-2 Aston Villa (2).

* Figures in brackets show the number of correct predictions for each game.

Highest Score (Week 25): 12 – Maziar Sattari.
Average Score (Week 25): 7.59.
Predictions of the Week (Week 25): Simon Gold and Marion Waller (Portsmouth 3-1 Derby); Iain Starr and Ted Warland (Liverpool 2-2 Aston Villa).

Top of the Table (Week 25):

1. Jersey United (Mike Dufficy) – 187 pts
2. Chelsea (Dave Taylor) – 177 pts
3. Manchester City (Christine Butters) – 176 pts
4. Nottingham Forest (Matthew White) – 175 pts
5. Charlton Athletic (Nigel Birrell) – 174 pts
6. Crystal Palace (Dave McAleer) – 171 pts
7. West Ham United (Wendy Nathan) – 170 pts
8. Clapton F.C. (Cathryn Harker) – 170 pts
9. Blackburn Rovers (Sally Moon) – 168 pts
10. Liverpool Reserves (Saleel Sathe) – 168 pts

Mike Dufficy plunges another 42 nails into the coffins of the Predictorship’s similarly-numbered also-rans, extending his lead to a potentially insurmountable NINE points.

Jersey United’s most distinguished VIP plunders another 10 points, including an impressive four correct scores (the games at Chelsea, Everton, West Ham and Bolton were his blockbusting predictions), to take another giant step towards the league title. If Mike does indeed lift the league trophy in May, not only will he join Steven Dunlop (champion in 2002-03 and 2004-05) as the only two-time winners of The Predictorship following his championship-winning 2005-06 season but he will also create a Butters sandwich, book-ending Christine’s 2006-07 triumph.

Charlton not-so-Pathetic’s Nigel Birrell has fallen down the pecking order in recent weeks but is right back in the thick of the runner-up-chasing action after matching Mike’s 10 points with three two-point beauties of his own (Derby, Everton and Middlesbrough). Nigel is up to fifth and, with a superior correct score tally, is just four points off snatching second place from Chelsea’s Dave Taylor.

Anuradha Shenoy (10th), Simon Gold (19th) and Gary Waller (30th) all deserve a mention for racking up nine points and, in other table news, Norma No Mates’ 15-week run at the bottom comes to an end as Arsenal and Liverpool’s unexpected draws lift her above Cypriarkos F.C.’s Neil Hayes, who now has SIX red cards to his name and has not been seen in these parts for 12 weeks. With Panama searched from top to toe and still no sign of an abandoned canoe, hawk-eyed detectives will be looking for a lead at the African Cup of Nations in Ghana, where this interested spectator predicts a feast of fun-filled BBC commentary. Who will be the first pundit to describe a Guinea foul?

As Neil slumps to the foot of the table, also spare a thought for Everton’s Hope Arnold, the most under-performing predictor of the season. Hope finished third last May but now finds herself in 34th after picking up her third yellow card of the campaign. The Predictorship’s Card Panel could be asked to determine her fate after she finally established contact with Predictorship HQ at 3.20pm on Sunday afternoon from “the middle of Africa”. “Damn this internet access,” cursed Hope. “I didn’t get my scores in because I couldn’t get online”. Better luck next week …

We now have the 32-man/woman line-up for Round 1 of The Predictorship Cup on 26th-27th January after this weekend’s four Preliminary Round replays were won by Steve McHugh’s Peterborough, Trevor Morris’ Sunderland, Stewart Newport’s Wycombe and Michael Whitty’s Bunch of Losers (full details below). If you possess a ‘1’ in the latest table’s PC (Predictorship Cup) column, you’re in the hat and should be in a state of high excitement ahead of the all-important draw. Who’ll get Jersey United?

Preliminary Round Replays

1. LINFIELD (James Bradley) (41) 2-6 SUNDERLAND (Trevor Morris) (36)
2. THE NIL-NILS (Norma No Mates) (43) 2-5 WYCOMBE WANDERERS (Stewart Newport) (29)
3. PETERBOROUGH UNITED (Steve McHugh) (25) 5-4 WINCHESTER CITY (Nicola Savage) (39)
4. CYPRIARKOS F.C. (Neil Hayes) (42) 2-5 BUNCH OF LOSERS (Michael Whitty) (40)

* Figures in brackets show league position on 5th January.

Premier League Results (Week 24): Arsenal 1-1 Birmingham (0); Aston Villa 3-1 Reading (5); Chelsea 2-0 Tottenham (7); Derby 0-1 Wigan (6); Everton 1-0 Manchester City (10); Manchester United 6-0 Newcastle (0); Middlesbrough 1-1 Liverpool (6); West Ham 2-1 Fulham (11); Bolton 1-2 Blackburn (5); Sunderland 2-0 Portsmouth (0).

* Figures in brackets show the number of correct predictions for each game.

Highest Score (Week 24): 10 – Nigel Birrell and Mike Dufficy.
Average Score (Week 24): 6.20.
Prediction of the Week (Week 24): Alex Iskandar Liew, Rob Molloy, Wendy Nathan, Ben Wallis and Matthew White (Aston Villa 3-1 Reading).

Top of the Table (Week 24):

1. Jersey United (Mike Dufficy) – 179 pts
2. Chelsea (Dave Taylor) – 170 pts
3. Nottingham Forest (Matthew White) – 168 pts
4. Manchester City (Christine Butters) – 167 pts
5. Charlton Athletic (Nigel Birrell) – 166 pts
6. West Ham United (Wendy Nathan) – 163 pts
7. Clapton F.C. (Cathryn Harker) – 163 pts
8. Crystal Palace (Dave McAleer) – 162 pts
9. Liverpool Reserves (Saleel Sathe) – 161 pts
10. New England (Anuradha Shenoy) – 160 pts

“This club lacks a bit of devilment and Robbie will bring that to the club” – Derby gaffer Paul Jewell on his new signing, combative midfielder Robbie Savage.

Footy factoid … £84.8m – Nicolas Anelka’s total value in transfer fees following his £15m move from Bolton to Chelsea last week. For the record, Anelka’s transfer history is as follows: Paris St. Germain to Arsenal (£500,000); Arsenal to Real Madrid (£22.3m); Real Madrid to Paris St. Germain (£20m); Paris St. Germain to Manchester City (£12m); Manchester City to Fenerbahce (£7m); Fenerbahce to Bolton (£8m); Bolton to Chelsea (£15m).

Ipswich midfielder Liam Trotter’s (great name) dismissal at the hands of referee Mark Halsey for an innocuous one-footed challenge during their FA Cup defeat against Portsmouth has enraged the usually mild-mannered Nick Watson and this column, standing as it does for all that is good, fair and indeed righteous about the beautiful game, whole-heartedly endorses his sentiments.

“Two years running we get players unjustly sent off in the third round – can you believe it?” fumed Nick after the Tractor Boys’ 10 men surrendered their unbeaten home record to Pompey. His consolation, inexplicably overlooked by the Predictorship’s Statto-in-residence (whoever he may be) is the joint top score of the season so far, 13, recorded in week 20, a total matched only by the excellence of Cheltenham Town’s Rob Dimery in week 14. We’re happy to put the record straight.

The Preliminary Round of The Predictorship Cup, like its little brother The FA Cup, threw up its fair share of shocks at the weekend. Already out of the competition are last year’s winners Sheffield Wednesday (Janet Jones), ousted by Tom Palmer’s Southampton, and inaugural Cup winners Millwall (John Collins), mauled by Pete Yoder’s Wolverhampton Wanderers. The Predictorship Cup engraver will be scratching a brand new name onto the trophy in May. Let’s hope for his sake it’s not those aforementioned Wanderers of Wolverhampton.

Seven teams are through to Round 1 on 26th-27th January and there are four Preliminary Round replays this coming weekend. Here are all the details:

Preliminary Round

1. READING RESERVES (Rob Molloy) (38) 4-6 TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR (Simon Gold) (24)
2. WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS (Pete Yoder) (33) 6-3 MILLWALL (John Collins) (27)
3. SUNDERLAND (Trevor Morris) (36) 6-6 LINFIELD (James Bradley) (41)
4. SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY (Janet Jones) (37) 4-5 SOUTHAMPTON (Tom Palmer) (26)
5. LIVERPOOL LAWRO (Mark Lawrenson) (23) 5-7 EVERTON (Hope Arnold) (31)
6. WYCOMBE WANDERERS (Stewart Newport) (29) 3-3 THE NIL-NILS (Norma No Mates) (43)
7. IPSWICH TOWN (Nick Watson) (22) 6-2 Q.P.R. (Gary Waller) (30)
8. WINCHESTER CITY (Nicola Savage) (39) 6-6 PETERBOROUGH UNITED (Steve McHugh) (25)
9. QUEENS PARK RANGERS (Marion Waller) (35) 6-5 CHELTENHAM TOWN (Rob Dimery) (34)
10. ARSENAL (Ted Warland) (28) 5-6 STARSENAL (Iain Starr) (32)
11. BUNCH OF LOSERS (Michael Whitty) (40) 3-3 CYPRIARKOS F.C. (Neil Hayes) (42)

* Figures in brackets show league position on 5th January.

Preliminary Round Replays (12th-13th January)

1. LINFIELD (James Bradley) (41) v SUNDERLAND (Trevor Morris) (36)
2. THE NIL-NILS (Norma No Mates) (43) v WYCOMBE WANDERERS (Stewart Newport) (29)
3. PETERBOROUGH UNITED (Steve McHugh) (25) v WINCHESTER CITY (Nicola Savage) (39)
4. CYPRIARKOS F.C. (Neil Hayes) (42) v BUNCH OF LOSERS (Michael Whitty) (40)

In the league, eight is the week’s top score, shared by the two Daves, McAleer and Taylor, Sally Moon, Saleel Sathe and Jill Taylor. Mike Dufficy, who has never been out of the top five this season, has a bad day at the office (five points) but is still seven clear of Dave Taylor.

FA Cup Round 3 Results (Week 23): Chasetown 1-3 Cardiff (5); Bristol City 1-2 Middlesbrough (5); Chelsea 1-0 Q.P.R. (2); Everton 0-1 Oldham (0); Huddersfield 2-1 Birmingham (1); Ipswich 0-1 Portsmouth (3); Aston Villa 0-2 Manchester United (1); Burnley 0-2 Arsenal (10); Luton 1-1 Liverpool (0); Stoke 0-0 Newcastle (1).

* Figures in brackets show the number of correct predictions for each game.

Highest Score (Week 23): 8 – Dave McAleer, Sally Moon, Saleel Sathe, Dave Taylor and Jill Taylor.
Average Score (Week 23): 5.58.
Predictions of the Week (Week 23): Sally Moon (Huddersfield 2-1 Birmingham), Jill Taylor (Aston Villa 0-2 Manchester United) and Marion Waller and Ted Warland (both Luton 2-2 Liverpool).

Top of the Table (Week 23):

1. Jersey United (Mike Dufficy) – 169 pts
2. Chelsea (Dave Taylor) – 162 pts
3. Nottingham Forest (Matthew White) – 160 pts
4. Manchester City (Christine Butters) – 159 pts
5. Clapton F.C. (Cathryn Harker) – 157 pts
6. Charlton Athletic (Nigel Birrell) – 156 pts
7. Crystal Palace (Dave McAleer) – 156 pts
8. West Ham United (Wendy Nathan) – 155 pts
9. Blackburn Rovers (Sally Moon) – 153 pts
10. Liverpool Reserves (Saleel Sathe) – 153 pts

Delia Smith = big news …

“Mark Halsey: less popular in Ipswich at the moment than a Delia Smith cookbook” - unidentified commentator on Match of the Day.

“Right under Delia’s nose, League 2 strugglers Bury stepped up to the plate at Norwich” - another unidentified commentator on Match of the Day.

Happy New Year!

Mike Dufficy’s 24 points over the frantic festive period establishes a mammoth 10-point lead over the chasing pack. Predictorship HQ might as well book the cross-Channel ferry now to transport the winner’s trophy to Jersey in May.

Mike netted 10 points in week 20, eight in week 21 and six in an extremely tough week 22 to notch up a 10th consecutive week in pole position. The previous table-topper was Dave Taylor, whose final fling at the top came in week 12.

Despite an under-achieving 19-point Christmas, Dave remains (a distant) second, one point clear of reigning champion Christine Butters. The pride of Manchester (City) matches Mike’s three-week total of 24 points to move into third. Nobody has retained their title in Predictorship history, but just as Chelsea will eventually slip up at Stamford Bridge, Portsmouth will eventually score at Fratton Park and Reading will tire of 10- or 11-goal thrillers, it will happen sooner or later …

Dave McAleer (8th) was the wisest man over Christmas with 27 points, including a Christine-equalling 11 points in week 20. However, Nick Watson, still to see his beloved Tractor Boys lose at fortress Portman Road in the Championship this season, brought home an even better 13 points in week 20 – a week that saw a probable record 69 correct scores predicted. Sadly, Nick’s joy was short-lived when he forgot to submit his Boxing Day fixtures.

To complete the picture, Simon Gold, who himself opted out of a festive week, bounced back with 10 points in week 21, two more than anyone else, and seven players recorded eights in week 22.

The Predictorship Cup kicks off this weekend with 11 Preliminary Round ties (see below). The line-up, concocted by 2007 Cup winner Janet Jones all the way from Chelsea Gardens, sees Janet host Tom Palmer’s Southampton, fellow Cup victor John Collins feed Millwall to Pete Yoder’s Wolves, Ted Warland’s Arsenal locks horns with Iain Starr’s Starsenal in an intriguing same stadium clash and Everton’s Hope Arnold make the short trip down the road to Mark Lawrenson’s Liverpool. If she wishes to do so, Hope is in the enviable position of being able to check out Lawro’s predictions on the BBC Sport website on Friday before returning her completed fixture card. I think that’s what you call ‘away advantage’.

A mouth-watering tie against one of the top 21 league predictors at the end of January awaits Preliminary Rounders who score more points than their opponent. Submit your scores as normal and let’s see how it all pans out …

Preliminary Round (5th-6th January)

1. READING RESERVES (Rob Molloy) (38) v TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR (Simon Gold) (24)
2. WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS (Pete Yoder) (33) v MILLWALL (John Collins) (27)
3. SUNDERLAND (Trevor Morris) (36) v LINFIELD (James Bradley) (41)
4. SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY (Janet Jones) (37) v SOUTHAMPTON (Tom Palmer) (26)
5. LIVERPOOL LAWRO (Mark Lawrenson) (23) v EVERTON (Hope Arnold) (31)
6. WYCOMBE WANDERERS (Stewart Newport) (29) v THE NIL-NILS (Norma No Mates) (43)
7. IPSWICH TOWN (Nick Watson) (22) v Q.P.R. (Gary Waller) (30)
8. WINCHESTER CITY (Nicola Savage) (39) v PETERBOROUGH UNITED (Steve McHugh) (25)
9. QUEENS PARK RANGERS (Marion Waller) (35) v CHELTENHAM TOWN (Rob Dimery) (34)
10. ARSENAL (Ted Warland) (28) v STARSENAL (Iain Starr) (32)
11. BUNCH OF LOSERS (Michael Whitty) (40) v CYPRIARKOS F.C. (Neil Hayes) (42)

* Figures in brackets show current league position.

Premier League Results (Week 22): Birmingham 1-1 Fulham (2); Chelsea 2-1 Newcastle (8); Everton 1-4 Arsenal (0); Portsmouth 0-1 Middlesbrough (1); Sunderland 3-1 Bolton (0); Tottenham 6-4 Reading (0); West Ham 2-1 Manchester United (0); Wigan 1-2 Aston Villa (11); Derby 1-2 Blackburn (9); Manchester City 0-0 Liverpool (2).

* Figures in brackets show the number of correct predictions for each game.

Highest Score (Week 22): 8 – Christine Butters, Steven Dunlop, Janet Jones, Dave McAleer, Tom Palmer, Iain Starr and Matthew White.
Average Score (Week 22): 5.21.
Prediction of the Week (Week 22): Rob Dimery (Portsmouth 0-1 Middlesbrough).

For the record …

Highest Score (Week 21): 10 – Simon Gold.
Highest Score (Week 20): 13 – Nick Watson.

Average Score (Week 21): 5.94.
Average Score (Week 20): 7.65.

Prediction of the Week (Week 21): Tom Palmer (Tottenham 4-1 Fulham). Actual result: Tottenham 5-1 Fulham.
Prediction of the Week (Week 20): Mike Dufficy and Marion Waller (Middlesbrough 1-2 West Ham).

Most Popular Correct Prediction (Week 21): Everton 2-0 Bolton (10 Predictors).
Most Popular Correct Prediction (Week 20): Arsenal 2-1 Tottenham (17 Predictors).

Top of the Table (Week 22):

1. Jersey United (Mike Dufficy) – 164 pts
2. Chelsea (Dave Taylor) – 154 pts
3. Manchester City (Christine Butters) – 153 pts
4. Nottingham Forest (Matthew White) – 153 pts
5. Clapton F.C. (Cathryn Harker) – 152 pts
6. Charlton Athletic (Nigel Birrell) – 151 pts
7. West Ham United (Wendy Nathan) – 149 pts
8. Crystal Palace (Dave McAleer) – 148 pts
9. FC Squan 1980 (Patrick Bevilacqua) – 145 pts
10. Blackburn Rovers (Sally Moon) – 145 pts