Triple top

Scoring with the accuracy of a fat man with a barrel of bitter, Chris Butters, Roger Taylor and Pete Yoder show their true colours and sit together propping up the bar at the top of the Predictorship this week with 58 points a piece.

But passions are stirring in the corner, with high-roller Nick Watson (spinning the wheel to rack up a impressive 10 points) resorting to foul and abusive asterisks as he vents his frustration on his season thus far damper than a dingo in a dyke, ‘Thought I’d get my scores in a bit early this week after last week’s dismal wash out. Of course, if it goes wrong, I shall be calling everyone ******* ***** in the Kinnear style’.

This is of course not language we condone and a spokesman at Predictorship House warned ‘if this kind of ****ing caper continues, we’ll have to show him a red card. It’s out of b***dy order, and if the t***er doesn’t apologise for his **** attitude we may be forced to ban the ******.’

The spokesman has now been sacked and a given a touchline ban.

Predicting elsewhere in the table this week was disappointingly lack-lustre with Nigel Birrell and James Bradley (both on 8 points) being the only predictors to get anywhere near the Ipswich man’s total score. However, for those of you looking despondently into your glasses and swilling around the sediment, cast your eyes down to the bottom of the table instead where Mark Lawrenson slouches lethargically, just one place above Norma no Mates. With scores like Bolton’s 3-1 win at West Ham (a result correctly predicted by Nick Watson, Steve McHugh and Joe Zalewski!), we can all be given a bit of slack this week.

… which only goes to show how impressive Nick’s table-trouncing form was, predicting correct scores in the games at Sunderland, West Brom and Chelsea. along with Nigel Birrell and Steve McHugh who also sharpened their darts to throw three correct scores this week.

Predictions of the Week were Sunderland 1-1 Arsenal (Steve McHugh, Nick Watson and Mark Young) and Tottenham 0-1 Hull ( Nigel Birrell, Gareth Jones and Saleel Sathe). All incredibly brave and foolish!

And finally mention must go to this week’s wildcard Steven Dunlop who, with one whisky too many, tossed caution to the wind with a 2-0 score-fest paying homage to Benfica’s wins over Napoli and Sporting as his ‘inspiration for this weekend’s predictions’ and somehow managing to net a respectable 6 points.

Now where did I leave the Jack Daniels?!

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