The Casino Queen

Playing the tables in Las Vegas has obviously paid dividends this week for Casino Queen Janet Roberts as she rolls her Predictorship dice to break the house with 10 impressive points and a massive leap of 14 places up the table in another low scoring week. Fate or luck? it’s hard to tell, but even when failing to replace the crosses for the Wigan–Stoke match, Janet still managed to score two points (the game ended 0-0!) You can hear husband David’s teeth grinding from as far away as the Indian sub-continent as he languishes in 32nd place.

Placing their bets at the black jack table, our top five predictors, with a little shuffling of the pack, remains the same as last week as Pete Yoder bluffs his way into second place. Meanwhile card-counter, Chris Butters, remains under the watchful eye of the house cameras as she spends a 7th week in the high-rollers’ penthouse suite.

Fighting for position at the top of the bill after a three week absence, Marvellous Mark Fitch punches his way back triumphantly to land a weighty 9 points, consisting of correct scores for the games at Arsenal, Liverpool, Wigan and Blackburn. But Mark’s got some training to do if he’s going to improve on his position at 36 in the table, with contenders like Hope Arnold and Joe Zalewski (3 correct scores apiece and 8 points) punching above their weight.

Returning to form back in the casino, Nicola Savage spins the roulette wheel to climb 5 places, sitting once again in the top 10 with a 7-point haul, also courtesy of 3 correct scores.

… and for those of you willing to gamble your last dime on this game of chance, you may wish to note that just 10 points separates Nigel Birrell in 5th and Gabe Bevilacqua in 27th, although a full 50 points now separate top and bottom. So some favourable odds to be had on:

‘Ranting’ Ralph Hannah
: “God I need to get out the relegation zone!” (position 40, 4 points)

‘Dangerous’ Dave Breese: “no wild statements this week (unlike Arsene W***er)” (position 40, 3 points), who’s form and foul-and-abusive language leave him odds-on favourite for either relegation or forcible ejection by the beefy bodyguards lurking behind the pool tables.

‘Timorous’ Ted Warland: “Hope (the move across the water) brings me luck” (position 37, 3 points) who, our sources reveal, resorted to telephone betting all the way from Ireland.

‘Prediction of the Week’ and drinks on the house are awarded to Gareth Jones and Joe Zalewski for Aston Villa 1 Middlesbrough 2. Who saw that one coming? Strangely, incorrectly predicted by Matt White who didn’t have faith in the puny Middlesbrough Turk, Tuncay Sanli who clinched their victory.

But with this week’s average a meagre 4.4, (EXACTLY the same as Week 12), there’s still all to play for with the current wavering form at the top.

So, from the Blackburn Rover in India (nursing the Millwall ‘team’ with a sprained ankle and several pulled muscles, who unwisely got talked into a European friendly against a Goan team faster than a bunch of whippets). Place your bets for another exciting weekend ahead.

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