Animal Magic

It’s time for celebration again in Predictorship Land as a parliament of wise old owls fly up the table in a long awaited week of and sensational scores. What a hoot!

This week’s sage birds include Patrick Bevilacqua, Ralph Hannah and struggling Joe Zalewski who all flapped their wings to lift themselves up the table with 10 points each. The equally-struggling Dave Breese soars away with a magnificent 11 points and manages to launch himself out of the bottom 5 for only the fourth week this season. Dave correctly predicted 9 out of 10 correct results, missing out on only Everton 2 Aston Villa 1.

Meanwhile, Predictorship HQ has been busy this week sewing together crinkly pieces of ribbon to create a hastily-invented award for bare faced and brazen cheek. The recipient of this coveted prize is Ralph Hannah who, bold as a brass monkey, correctly predicted his own 10 point tally. But, where to pin the rosette? The panel is still undecided.

Steve Dunlop, on the other hand, must be feeling like a cat that’s got the cream with a presentable 9 points after scratching confidently behind a fluffy ear to muse, ‘Enough pussy footing around, time to rack up a few points’. Certainly a new tactic to be considered.

Our pandemonium of parrots perching on top of the table are still lead by Chris Butters who can rightfully preen herself to bask in a comfortable 6-point lead. Her nearest challenger is now Nigel Birrell, who reaches a new peak at No.2. Along with Nigel, several other contenders are dipping contentedly into their macadamia nuts: Steve McHugh (6th), Nick Watson (7th), Patrick Bevilacqua (13th) and Steven Dunlop (17th) who all record new seasonal highs.

Nicola Savage, meanwhile, has slowed to a lame trot after picking up 9 points from the first 7 games of the fixture list and nothing for the last 3 games but still retains a few each-way bets to retain her seasonal high of 5th position.

But despite this week’s successes, the sorry state of affairs from the last few weeks has taken it’s toll on Baggies Boy, Mark Young who, drunk as a skunk, provides us with a sobering lesson; and I quote:

‘…There seems to be an awful lot of drinking going on at Predictorship HQ. To that end I hope the five pints, two bottles of wine and three tequilla shots I’ve just downed will help …’

Unfortunately Mark only returned one point for each pint so the wine and tequilla appear to have had not effect at all.

So, the point in the season has come for us all to stop monkeying around and take our lead from a few some inspirational predictions:

Hope Arnold and Iain Starr really do have something to crow about, forseeing the Blackburn – Liverpool result (1–3) and the even more remarkable Mark Sattari’s prediction of Everton – Aston Villa (2–3) has left him running around like a puppy with two tails.

Time for the chairman to call for a little restraint as we launch ourselves cheerfully into Week 18. Good luck everyone!

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