Point Break

Chris Butters surfs yet another point into the lead on the crest of a triumphant predictive wave (‘respect bro’) as confidence and egos grow in a flurry of activity across the table.

‘Leadership’ is the key word of the week and the chosen topic for the therapy session in the Ex-President’s suite. Gabe Bevilacqua, Steven Dunlop and Dave Taylor have been invited to talk on ‘The Meaning of Success’ after dusting the sand off their belly boards to claim an intellectual 10 points a-piece.

The mood is high with the average score for the week of 6.65 as the guest predictors take their seats ready for the session to begin.

Meanwhile, the nurses scan the audience, ever attentive for signs of trouble and concealed biros, and their eyes fix on a conversation being carried on animatedly in the corner. Simon Gold and Ronald Ray-gun (known to the group as the Cosmic Cowboy) are huddled together – heads bowed conspiratorially: ‘Why am I so rubbish at this?’, Simon is heard mumbling dejectedly and Ronnie begins to explain a secret weapon he’s been developing to pick off the leaders one at a time. Ronnie is lead away.

Some would say leaders are borne and not made, and who could argue this week as five of last season’s top six are up there again? Only ‘Predictorship Cup Chairman’ Matt White is still attending sessions in positive thinking – ‘the cream always rises to the top!’ chirps Matt enthusiastically to Richard Fix’em who suggests a few electronic modifications to the table if talent fails to achieve Matt’s goals. Shocking.

Back at the session, Predictor of the Week Dave Breese (Liverpool 1–1 Everton) accepts a warm hug and a handshake from Bill Clingon. ‘You’ve got to feel for that Rafa guy, haven’t you?’ Bill asks. ‘maybe I should give him the name of my attorney. I’ve got a great attorney!’

The door opens and George W Shusssh pokes his head nervously around the architrave ‘hey, you won’t guess who I’ve just seen coming in!’ whispers George.

The ex-Presidents shake their heads in unison.

‘It’s only Rambo. He only left last week and I’ve just seen them wheeling him in!’

Leave a Reply