Yellow Cards

An apology to the members of the exclusive Predictorship club for a tardy and abbreviated report this week. Following a 48 hour journey back from India via 6 airports, a return to a house without heating, one cremated cat in a box and another peeing on the sofas and pooing on the laminate flooring there have been more pressing (and wringing) engagements than you could shake a soggy yellow card at.

So, as not to disappoint those of you with something to celebrate as you munch through your Easter truffles, here is a quick run down of Week 34:

* Top score: 10 – “Miss 2-0” Jill Taylor. Jill landed 3 maximums for the Arsenal, Newcastle & West Ham games but missed out on the 4th 2-0 of the week (West Brom 0 Stoke 2)

* All 41 players took to the field this week after last week’s poor turnout (33)

* Almost one-third of players (13) went for Arsenal 2-0 Manchester City

* Prediction of the Week: Ralph Hannah (West Brom 0-2 Stoke). Ralph sadly missed out on his other prediction of being top scorer for a consecutive 3 weeks but that was, we feel, a little cheeky anyway! A mention too for David Jones, who, remarkably, was the only player to predict Blackburn 2 Tottenham 1

* David Jones is up to a new seasonal high of 12th and running into top form ahead of his Cup semi-final (opponent to be revealed shortly) on the weekend of 18th-19th April

* Average score: 7.00

The lesson of the week comes from Dave Breeze: However desperate you are for points, don’t think playing safe will save you from the relegation battle.

Dave doesn’t usually do “safe” when it comes to Stoke but on this occasion, and after sweeping the internet for statistics, ‘The law of averages must have some bearing on this… Stoke have not won away all season and WBA haven’t beaten Stoke in a league game for about 20 years’; Dave came a cropper.

Needless to say, The Potters bagged a 2-0 win at The Baggies (their first away win of the season).

So whether you go for the Nick Watson reading-of-the-clumps-in-the cat-litter technique or Chairman David’s pattern-on-the-head-of-the-Guinness ruse (I shall be trying both techniques this weekend, incidentally) the choice is yours.

Meanwhile we await the yellow card hitting the mat in Suffolk from ‘Predictorship Cup Chairman’ Matt White. Sorry Matt. Normal service will be resumed next week.