Sound Tracks

Witnessing a mighty charge and the William Tell Overture ringing in their ears, Predictors across the globe are agog to see Saleel Sathe fly past Christine Butters with 12 points to open up a 3 point lead at the top with just 5 weeks of the season left. His remarkable total – the joint 2nd highest of the season (David Roberts scored 12 in week 30; Steve McHugh bagged 14 in week 9), includes FIVE correct scores for the games at Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Stoke, Sunderland & Eton Manor. Like General Custer, Saleel intends to take no prisoners but does Christine have a few bows and arrows up her sleeve for the final showdown? The odds are shortening as the 37th week deadline approaches…

And it isn’t just Saleel who can claim a sound track for his week: at the Moonerazzi’s Predictorship outpost (and hot on the heels of the Mark Young’s appeal for an official inquiry into why the cat didn’t get Performance of the Week for sprinkling and tinkling on the furniture) strains of the 1812 Overture have been heard ringing through the house as the feline culprit went flying out of the front door after releasing a water bomb onto the duvet, through mattress and (rather skilfully) onto the carpet. Another drum roll and the hard disk blew up. Yet another and the back-up systems let out a pitiful whine. Maybe inspiration for a startling set of results this week? We’ll have to wait and see.

Meanwhile Pete Yoder has been toning up his tonsils in the manner of Susan Boyle and ‘Dreams a Dream’ of climbing to the top of the pile with a heavyweight score of 10 points. Our own Hairy Angel arrests his recent slump and climbs back up to 4th with 3 correct scores (Portsmouth, Sunderland & Linfield). Amazingly, scored 0 points for the first 3 games on the fixture list.

We all know that it can be a stressful point in the season with so much to play for (those shiny little medals can turn a man’s head) and even the hardest nuts have been known to crack. Nick Watson is already feeling the strain and as ‘Anarchy in the UK’ blares out over his iPod speakers, the Predictorship police are heading for the door. After swinging into a relentless campaign of haranguing the Chairman, Nick’s form is beginning to slide – only a lack lustre 2 points this week after the following unprovoked assault:

‘I suppose I ought to engage in some Wenger/Ferguson style mind games now that we come to the business end of the season. So, I’d like to suggest not only do your Watford boys lack the stomach for these stressful time but, furthermore, they also smell of wee and dress up in their mums’ clothes – what do you think about that?’.

Very sad indeed. Chairman David is putting together a selection of Julie Andrews show tunes to pull him through.

Not so Predictorship Cup Chairman, Matthew White who is ‘Sitting on top of the World’ like a cat that’s got the Cream with his Predictor of the Week award (Winchester City 3-2 Uxbridge). Possibly all that fresh air has gone to his head as he gloats unattractively over his victory ‘Scores immeasurably greater than Simon Gold & Pete Yoder (Linfield 2-2 Cliftonville) & Nigel Birrell, David Jones, Wendy Nathan & Saleel Sathe (Eton Manor 3-1 Clapton), don’t you think?’. Steady on Matt.

And finally, an appeal from the Chairman before the ‘Lunatics take over the Asylum’. There will be no awards for Silly Predictor of the Season for those desperately seeking glory in the face of relegation – naming no names… James Bradley (Winchester City 8-3 Uxbridge) and Iain Starr (Linfield 12-11 Cliftonville & Winchester City 0-23 Uxbridge). This is a serious contest and we expect you to treat it as such. Wibble.