Frogs and Princes

… we hand the title of Predictorship Compère of the Month to Cup Chairman, Matt ‘Kermit’ White as he pronounces the stats for Week 39 ‘Possibly the most boring week in history’.

An unsolicited slur on the valiant efforts of the players maybe, but it’s a cue for Norma-no-mates (reeling after landing 2 correct scores) to don a pair of doggy ears and launch into a dramatic display of arpeggios as the curtain goes up on another Predictorship round-up.

But the compère is already missing. More than used to the advances of young ladies in search of a prince, Matt has caught sight of the Chairman’s wife and made a break for the wings. Taking a break from the Swine-trek set Janet Roberts, co-leader on 8 points this week, is all keen to celebrate by planting a smacker on those pond-moistened lips, but Matt has other ideas.

Her fellow leader, ‘The Great’ Mark Young (with 7 correct scores to match Janet) and Predictor of the Week for his Fulham-Aston Villa forecast, is planning to celebrate in more explosive style and lights the fuse of his cannon, centre stage. No stranger-to-danger Mark flies fearlessly into the pensioners box, but it looks like it could be one stunt too many as he plunges headlong into in the lap of Chairman Stadler, rambling incoherently about the Predictorship’s star reporter…

Would you please let “stuck in the ’70s” Moonerazzi know that the new STAR TREK movie comes out this week (and that Roger Moore is NOT James Bond anymore — even if Moonraker is her favorite Bond movie.)

The Chairman turns to his companion, Ted Waldorf, for inspiration who displays his contempt for the shabby proceedings by turning away to watch the show.

The Electric Mayhem are tuning up and Ted has his eye on guitarist, ‘Janice’ Butters launching into a Brian May riff, possibly prematurely as she contemplates her success in closing the gap on Saleel at the top of the table. Ms Butters tally of two correct scores was amazingly match by only Norma-no-mates this week. Dressed in a fetching leather mini-skirt, Janice sways to the beat and Ted’s eyes sway with her.

Chairman Stadler coughs loudly and, realising he’s been rumbled, Ted smartly turns back to business.

If you don’t penalise all the “bankrupt” teams with penalty points deductions, my great sportsman friend, Didier D, will be eyeing you soonest!

Nice try Ted, but you’re not fooling anyone!

Giddily star-struck and hoping to get his big break, ‘Mr 1–0’ Dave ‘Fozzie’ Taylor takes the stage in a jaunty hat and spotty scarf to shock the pundits by conjuring up a couple of 1-1 draws. Unfortunately, and characteristically for the hapless bear, neither of them was correct!

So, with an average score of 5.35 it looks as if there are more than a few muppaphones out there… but, as they say, it’s not over until the fat piggy sings.