Who’s the Daddy?

This is no week for lightweights as Predictors worldwide wrestle and tussle their way into the final week of the season. And it couldn’t be tighter at the top as Saleel Sathe and Chris Butters square up with 8 points a piece in the penulitmate round, ready for their final showdown.

Tricky Tree Alex Iskandar Liew, who, you will remember ungallantly pipped the Moonerazzi to the Predictorship Cup title 2008, is this week’s top scorer with 12 points and nonchalantly tosses the opposition aside in the manner of the mighty Giant Haystacks. Alex pulled in this heavyweight total with the aid of FIVE correct scores (Bolton, Middlesbrough, Stoke, Tottenham & West Bromwich) and narrowly beat Mark Lawrenson who wakes up from the BBC sofa to put in his first respectable score of the season with 11 points.

But donning the champion’s cape is the Big Daddy himself, Gareth Jones not notable for his scoring perhaps but for valiantly launching his offering into the ring in the week he became a father for the first time. Dedicated to Lily, Gareth’s 6 points may only have managed to lift him from 33rd to 32nd place but at ringside, pleased-as-punch Grandad and Granny (Predictorship Chairman and First Lady Roberts) rattle their ostentatious jewellry in delight. Congratulations to all.

But as usual, there’s trouble waiting in the wings sporting a black mask and a bad attitude. ‘Kendo’ Young, gnarled and bitter at the Baggies sad demise is spoiling for the fight and, there’s only one target in his sights. Lulled into a false sense of security by Mark’s silky complements this week, ‘viva la Moonerazzi’ the Blackburn Rover is relaxing and enjoying the Roberts’ baby snaps but, with only one point between him and old sparring partner (placed 13th and 14th), it’s looking as if this fight could get dirty.

Back in the ring Steve ‘Mick’ McHugh and Matthew ‘Jackie’ White square up in their roomy underpants to battle out the winner of the 10 pointers. The Predictorship Cup Chairman is a little puffed up with his 4 correct scores: Middlesbrough, Tottenham, Chelsea & West Bromwich’ and is swaggering around the ring.

‘I’m also up to a new seasonal high of 6th, hot on the heels of Grandad Roberts for that coveted 5th spot!’

brags Matt, unaware of the human projectile heading his way. Steve, who prefers to let his stomach do the talking, has bounced off the ropes to hurl himself into the PCC’s arms, sending him flying ungracefully through the air to land, winded, flat on the mat.

This week’s glittery Lovey award however is handed to GWR Records Manager Ralph Hannah, for Ridiculous Prediction of the Week. Ralph, who was on The New Paul O’Grady Show on Monday adjudicating as Suggs from Madness and Matt Lucas tried unsuccessfully to set a new world record for the tallest ice-cream, was obviously in touch with his creative side when predicting the Tottenham v Manchester City score at 3-4. Hopefully this fit of fluffy celebrity thinking will have worn off by the time he casts his all-important scores for the final time on Saturday.

And finally, champagne sisters Hope Arnold and Norma No Mates are sitting pretty in hospitality swigging a rather fruity pink bubbly out of their respective Prediction of the Week tankards. Hope for a penetrating Newcastle 0-1 Fulham and Norma, as you may have guessed, for the scintillating Manchester United 0-0 Arsenal score.

So it’s gloves off for the final matches and MAY THE BEST PREDICTOR WIN!